Putting Pets to Sleep

[Monica]

Many years ago my cat Ralph had cancer in his mouth. He couldn't eat. He could have lived, hungry and in pain, for a long time. Instead I held him and loved him as I said a merciful good by.

And the there was Molly my dog. Arthritis pain, I bought stairs to help her on and off the bed. She complained about having to walk outside to do her business. Old age allergies to everything, scratching herself constantly, and chewing on the bottom of her feet. Anemia, her gums were white (as was much of her fur), and as she lost blood, she also lost energy. Her anal glands had to be constantly expressed, because they kept hardening and no longer worked. I think I kept her alive for too long, and it would have been kinder to say good by sooner. When I did say good by, she knew full well what was happening, and she didn't take her eyes off me as she grinned at me with love.

Oh, I offer you my deepest sympathies! I've had very similar experiences with some cats and dogs!

My very first Schipperke was a puppy I got from the animal shelter, for my son. We'd only had him 2 weeks when he starting vomiting and pooping all over the place. It turned out to be Parvo, even though he'd been vaccinated.

I was a stay-at-home mom at the time, and we were on a very tight budget. The vet told me he had about a 50-50 chance of survival, despite heroic measures. I put the $1500 vet bill on my credit card, despite being in dire financial straits at the time.

The puppy died anyway. But there's no way I could let him die without trying!

I had fallen in love with the breed, but I don't believe in buying purebred animals when there are so many homeless ones out there. So after that, I found other homeless Schipperkes and adopted them.

Years later, one of my Schips started acting aggressive for no apparent reason. He bit me twice. I thought it was a behavior issue so I bought dog training books and videos and started working with him. It didn't help. He just seemed constantly agitated. So I took him to the vet several times over the course of a year. They did tests but couldn't find anything wrong with him that would explain his sudden change in disposition. Oh God, I loved that dog sooooo much! I would hold him and he's snuggle on my shoulder and go to sleep. I carried him around like a baby.

His aggression was getting to be a major problem, though, because I never knew when he would suddenly decide to bite me. Schipperkes can be quite tenacious. They're known for biting and never letting go! They will attack and attack, and keep attacking like a pit bull, but normally they never attack unless there's a very good reason to. They are amazingly loving companions but will defend their humans tenaciously.

Well, here I had my beloved Gandalf behaving that way for no apparent reason. It was perplexing, because all the dog experts were at a loss. I worried about him biting a family member, so everyone knew that I was the only one who could handle him. I continued to try to figure out what was wrong with him. I tried all sorts of holistic supplements, etc. in addition to the meds the vet gave me for him.

Finally, the doctor thought to x-ray him. It turned out he had a horribly disfiguring congenital defect. His spine was misshapen. It wasn't something anyone could tell by holding him, it showed up on the x-ray. The vet said this sort of defect happened when people bred brothers and sisters. A backyard breeder had let a brother and sister mate, and the puppies could have such a defect.

This dog was a rescue (as are all my animals) so there's no way I could have known. Of course we explored all options. There was simply no way to surgically correct it. The vet said it started showing up more because he was getting older. He said Gandalf was in severe pain and it would only get worse. He prescribed some heavy-duty pain meds but they didn't seem to help much. Gandalf got to the point where he would just cower in a corner with his tail between his legs, a sure sign of distress.

I agonized for weeks over what to do. (And this was in addition to the year or so that I agonized over his strange behavior.) It was difficult, because every now and then he'd show a spark of his old self. I carried him around on my shoulder. I had to be very careful as to how I approached him, to avoid causing him any more pain (and being bitten). I didn't want to add to his pain by picking him up wrong!

I felt so bad because I realized that when he bit me, it was only because he was in pain. I talked to him and asked him what he wanted me to do. I cried buckets. I cried as someone would cry over a human family member.

I told him to give me a sign in my dream. And he did. He wanted to leave. Having him euthanized was the merciful thing to do.

Gandalf was 1 of 3 rescued Schips I had at the time. It turned out that a little female, Draca, also had a congenital problem because of incestuous backyard breeding. Hers manifested as a heart problem. She would be fine, but if she exerted, she would start gasping and then pass out. The vet said she had a hugely enlarged heart. We put her on meds but the diarrhea side effect was so bad she had to stay outside all day. That wasn't acceptable. I made the decision to take her off the meds, since they weren't really helping anyway, and keep her inside where she could get lots of love. She was a very emotionally needy dog and I couldn't bear the thought of her being cut off from the family because of constant diarrhea! Or worse, her dying outside, forlorn and alone.

So I kept her inside and tried to keep her calm. That was nearly impossible because, like most Schips, she had a very excitable, exuberant personality. She would all excited at the slightest thing. Every time she got excited, she would start gasping and pass out. And every time that happened, I rushed to her side and held her close, hugging her and loving her, in case this was her last breath. I wanted her to be loved at the moment of death. I wanted to be there with her.

There was never any reason to consider getting her euthanized, because her quality of life was still great. She wasn't in pain. She was happy and living a good life. She just sometimes passed out! I knew that any time now, when she passed out she wouldn't wake up again. I decided to let nature run its course.

Of course, I had to let her outside to go potty. I tried to keep constant watch over her, and most of the time was always there, just in case. But, one of the few times I wasn't there to rush to her side, turned out to be the one. She died exactly 2 weeks after Gandalf.

That left my 3rd Schip, MidKnight. I was astounded that he somehow managed to outlive the 2 younger dogs. MidKnight was very old. I really don't know how old, because he too was a rescue. He was at least 15, but since we don't know how old he was when he was rescued off the city street, he could have been 20, who knows?

His arthritis was so bad I had to pick him up and carry him outside in the morning to go potty. My husband and I used to nudge him to see if he was still alive. He had always had a wonderful disposition, but because of the arthritis pain, he would growl and grumble whenever we disturbed his sleep. But I had to take him outside before leaving for the day, so it couldn't be helped. He would struggle to walk a few feet. He was clearly in severe pain.

He was also completely blind and deaf. His eyes were milky white. His once-gorgeous black fur was now 25% white. Because he was blind and deaf, he was completely cut off from us, except for when I held him.

For the past couple of winters, I had to put a sweater on him. He had gotten bony and got chilled easily. I remember one time he'd been outside because it was a lovely, sunny day, when a sudden coldfront blew in (as happens here in Texas...it can be 80 degrees then an hour later be 40.) He was shivering so I wrapped him in a blanket and just held him close to warm him up. It took 30 minutes for him to relax and quit shivering. I felt awful that I hadn't known about the coldfront blowing in.

I tried the natural stuff like glucosamine etc. but nothing helped. So I dutifully gave him the prescription pain meds from the vet. I guess it helped some, but not much. Or maybe he got immune to it. We tried switching meds but he just wasn't getting any better.

I was seriously thinking it was time to have him euthanized, because I didn't want him suffering. But I put off doing it out of selfishness. I loved that dog more than any other dog I'd ever had. He was my baby! I knew it was time, but I selfishly kept trying to just keep him as comfortable as I could. I made sure his bed was soft and warm, and carried him outside to go potty, and cleaned up his vomit.

Finally, just when I was about to do the deed, I got a water ionizer for my own health problems. Now before anyone accuses me of deftly sliding in a sales pitch, look, I'm sorry but this is what happened, so I'm going to include it. It's part of the story.

After 2 weeks of drinking this water, MidKnight woke us up at 6am, running and prancing like a puppy! I was astounded! I opened the back door and he literally zoomed outside!!! The water got rid of his pain! (I found out later it does this for humans too, quite reliably. But at the time I had no idea it would do that. Had I known, I would have bought the machine just for my dog!)

He was a totally different dog. It was like he was 5 years younger. No sign of pain whatsoever, ever again. Some of his fur turned black again. (not all but some) 6 months later, his eyes were mostly brown again. He could see and play fetch! It didn't help his hearing much, though. He was still deaf.

He lived almost 4 more years! I'm not sure what the equivalent is in human years, but that's a pretty long time for an already-old dog. He had a great quality of life. He never showed any more sign of pain at all. He acted like his younger self again for the most part. He was sparky, energetic, and would prance the way Schips do.

Finally, heartworms got him in the end. I'd been religious about heartworm prevention, so I don't know why he got them. Maybe he already had them when I got him. Maybe it was the Texas mosquitoes. Maybe I missed a month and they got a foothold. I don't know. But he was clearly suffering. After 3 1/2 years of doing great, he suddenly went downhill. He spent most of his time alternating between scratching and gagging. A few times he suddenly vomited and gasped so hard for air that I thought he was dying. The vet said heartworm treatment is too traumatic for elderly dogs so that wasn't an option. I tried a homeopathic heartworm remedy and it helped for awhile, but the heartworms got so agitated when I gave it to him, that it was very traumatic for him, so I didn't want to subject him to that either.

He was clearly miserable. So once again, just a few months after Gandalf and Draca had died, I was faced with the decision. Once again I cried buckets and agonized. But my decision was clear. There was no question that he was ready to go, and was depending on me to lovingly guide him to his next experience.

It's easy to say "No one should ever have an animal euthanized but should always let them die on their own" but it's quite another to be in that situation.

We cannot judge the actions of another who makes this decision. We have no idea what they went through...how much they agonized...or what we would have done in the same situation.

Nor can we say that euthanizing an animal is always wrong. I don't think there is a simple, black-and-white guideline on this. The important thing is that we make the most loving decision possible, under the circumstances.

I wish we respected each other human beings, as much as we do animals.

I'm not sure what you mean by that. Millions of animals are brutally slaughtered every single day, unnecessarily, to satisfy humans' craving for the taste of meat. Millions of dogs and cats run the streets, abandoned and starving, until they die a violent death on the street, or die of starvation, or are brutally killed in a gas chamber at the city pound. So I'm not sure what you mean by "respecting humans as much as we do animals."

Helping each other die humanely would be a kindness.

I agree. But, the difficult part is in knowing if that's truly what the other person wants. Legally allowing this for humans would open up a can of worms, because sick/elderly/drugged people are easily taken advantage of.

But at least we can do it for our pets who are suffering. We can lovingly guide them on their way. I'm in agreement with you on that, Charles.