Fear

[AnthroHeart]

My biggest fear in my life was that I was being harvested negative, or so I thought. It was a schizophrenic episode. I thought I was being dragged into a star where I would burn up, and it terrified me. I remember when I thought I was going through the densities, and my mind became erratic, and it rocked my world. Suddenly the world around me began shaking violently in my mind, and I couldn't cope with it. Had to focus on the One Original Thought to keep me grounded. At these times I was forced into these experiences. There was also the time where I experienced creating a galaxy, and that wasn't comfortable either. I think my way of doing it wasn't the right way, because they are made with Love and Light, and my way just burned a lot. The only comfort I had during my spiritual experiences was seeing Ra as a miniature and talking telepathic with them. I've had my fair share of fear. Thinking I was going to hell, and that I had to end it all to keep from going there. I even once felt like I was being pulled into a spiritual black hole, and only God's love kept me safe.

And now I have such a desire to see and be on the other side, that I sort of fear a long life. But I also fear dying violently or in pain. It's not just a curiosity of the other side, it's something I really desire, and I feel homesick.