The Bugs Bunny Roadrunner Hour

[Peregrinus]

oh peregrinus, i am awed at how in the midst of such negativity and catalyst you remain able to write about your circumstances with such eloquence, beauty and humility. i hope you find a good outcome from this particular situation.

I am learning greater compassion and sympathy, but to what end if the other person is not open to it? I take my leave of this situation. Thanks for your post

I feel your emotions. you are a strong person. the very fact that you have not become negative enveloped with this negativity speaks a lot. you are able to observe it and write about it. still looking to transmute it. i think you may be feeling overwhelmed with this sudden shift in energies. it might be helpful to break out for outside for few minutes and be with nature which is still untainted. maybe ask your fairies and guides to provide you a clear and warm and fuzzy state. i have found that dwelling on negativity or any situation just helps to fuel it further.

Thanks for the advice. I go out every chance I get. I'd rather not ask for a warm fuzzy state. I am in this state for a reason, and I desire to learn the lesson. I hope that is possible.

Catalyst having to do with the family is some of the most powerful and difficult catalyst ever, my friend. But you are where you are right now for a reason. And if you can't seem to find the answer this this puzzle, it would be laid out for you in another form. There's no need to worry.

Another brick in the road...

From the way you've described your mother here and in other threads, I think that if anyone can offer her the deep and cool flowing water of love that she so craves in this existence, it would be you, brother. But how do to that? How to get past her oh so reactive and closed off mind? A small thing I have learned while accepting and working through catalyst of the blue chakra lately, is that not everyone communicates on the same level. In order to communicate to someone more dense than you, communicate in a denser way. Find the most powerful way she seems to communicate with you, and do that back to her in your naturally loving and positive way. Maybe love cannot be communicated to her by words, she might not be ready. Maybe it can be communicated to her by doing something for her, or showing something to her.

I don't know how to communicate to her. She ignores sublimity. She ignores directness. The only thing which got through to her was a very direct email I sent her last night (and I am under the same roof!) whereby I gave her the choice of showing me respect and decency, or me leaving. She chose for me to leave and called me cruel. She will not accept responsibility for her actions. It is always someone else's problem.

I might also say that the emotions she makes you feel can be shared positively with her. In making you feel the emotion, even the negative, she's giving a gift to you. Share the emotive experience with her, and laugh at how she is making you angry. I understand it's hard to do this because with old friends and especially family, it is VERY difficult to not react with them in the expected egotistical way. Maybe you could even tell her how some of things she's doing and saying make you angry, then maybe thank her and jokingly tell her it's because you have a hard time feeling emotions on your own. Maybe you can thank her for looking so harshly upon your flaws, because you might not be able to see them so clearly on yourself. But remind her that nobody is perfect, and she would become angry if someone were to do the same to her.

Alas, trying to explain anything to her, she calls "lecturing" and refrains from listening. It is ok for her to give her point of view, but not ok for me to give mine. She has made that abundantly clear, even to the point of her and her bf ridiculing me. I accept that, and if being loving and caring are flaws, then I accept them also. Other flaws I do have... I am working on removing.

Reading your post and Aaron's post in the end about the negative emotions offered I couldn't get out of my head the significator of the mind. The entity which sits bound in the third density illusion with a weird twist. The negative polarity fruits or catalysts are the intensifiers of the being's chosen path, the radiant one. And vice versa.

To the respecting of wishes or leaving should be your own choice, it is not a concern of controlling a situation or manipulating manners which have been firmly anchored down. One of service comes when and where it is called, and through humility and becoming the one it seeks to serve will it find the answer on how to best offer itself. Such aspects I can see transcend judgment or even the most basic and fundamental views of a being who wishes to serve in purity.

Your posts were most helpful brother. Thank you for your insights and the quotes. I just don't see how I can be of service to one who will not allow me to be so without harsh judgment. She has never chosen anyone but herself, her controlling negative nature. I was beaten with whatever was at hand in childhood, and whipped with a horse whip. I was controlled, though I always fought back. I never gave in, and will not today, to abuse in whatever form it takes, from anyone. Is this wrong? Is this my cross to be staked upon?

Ahhh the Food WARS and living with family...

Also I highly recommend you read "Peace Pilgrim

Thanks for your post sister. I will read Peace Pilgrim. Thanks for the link