The Compounding of Emotions

[Plenum]

I have noticed in myself that sometimes very difficult emotions have a way of 'compounding'.

by that, I mean, for eg, if one is angry or given to anger over a period of time, one eventually becomes 'angry' about being 'angry'. One is not actually experiencing the anger directly about something ... but has compounded the anger onto itself.

in my case, growing up under a more Eastern Family influence (chinese/hong kong in this case), shame is a prevalent theme in these cultures. So for me, the emotional issue was 'shame about being ashamed lol'. When the emotions compound in this way, it becomes a tightly knit ball that is quite difficult to unpack.

in the west, I would venture to say that guilt is the common corollary for 'shame' (guilt usually installed by the christian church). and one can eventually become 'guilty about being guilty' - or a guilty conscience for no reason at all!

fear about fear is also a compounding.

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but yeah, these things can take some time to unpack, and to realise they are not a 'given' about one's personality and can be changed given enough understanding and effort.