Dear Friend,
This came to me this morning while I was walking and thinking about your situation, which, I am sure, resonates with so many of us who have similar situations or have lived through similar.
Remember, only you can decide what is right for you, so please take my advice with a grain of salt - I want to share it with you in case any of it may be helpful.
1. Don't try to make any large decisions right now - instead make many small steps. Make connections and friends with people outside your family. Join a "spiritual support group," if possible one that incorporates prayer and meditation. Instead of trying to force yourself to make that large jump to "leave" your mother, make many small jumps every day. Choose to spend some time at a church, a meditation group, a therapy group, any place where you can make positive connections with other people.
2. Ask for guidance and help ("prayer") from whatever spiritual guides you believe in, whether it is Jesus, Ra, Seth, an angel, a "saint," the Great Spirit, anything that you can believe is there and will hear you. It doesn't matter "who" you pray to - the important thing is to ask for help and believe you will receive it.
3. Learn to listen to your feelings. Very few people are "evil." That weird feeling you get sometimes IS important - it is telling you something. Specifically it is giving you guidance. Good feeling = I am on the right path right now. Bad feeling = be careful, someone or my own ego is trying to get me to do something that may not be helpful to myself or others.
Have a great, joyful day, and thanks for listening. Use this advice only if it is helpful, and know there are many here in this thread sending you love and positive energy.
PS - I see from reading more that you have made much progress already. Congratulations, friend.
This came to me this morning while I was walking and thinking about your situation, which, I am sure, resonates with so many of us who have similar situations or have lived through similar.
Remember, only you can decide what is right for you, so please take my advice with a grain of salt - I want to share it with you in case any of it may be helpful.
1. Don't try to make any large decisions right now - instead make many small steps. Make connections and friends with people outside your family. Join a "spiritual support group," if possible one that incorporates prayer and meditation. Instead of trying to force yourself to make that large jump to "leave" your mother, make many small jumps every day. Choose to spend some time at a church, a meditation group, a therapy group, any place where you can make positive connections with other people.
2. Ask for guidance and help ("prayer") from whatever spiritual guides you believe in, whether it is Jesus, Ra, Seth, an angel, a "saint," the Great Spirit, anything that you can believe is there and will hear you. It doesn't matter "who" you pray to - the important thing is to ask for help and believe you will receive it.
3. Learn to listen to your feelings. Very few people are "evil." That weird feeling you get sometimes IS important - it is telling you something. Specifically it is giving you guidance. Good feeling = I am on the right path right now. Bad feeling = be careful, someone or my own ego is trying to get me to do something that may not be helpful to myself or others.
Have a great, joyful day, and thanks for listening. Use this advice only if it is helpful, and know there are many here in this thread sending you love and positive energy.
PS - I see from reading more that you have made much progress already. Congratulations, friend.