12-09-2013, 10:00 PM
I'm sorry to read of your continuing distress, AO. It's unlikely that anything I can type here could help you directly, but I feel moved to offer what I can. I've been in very disconcerting spiritual positions myself and I can share some general conclusions I've come to along the way.
The most important is this: when ending various levels of developement, I've often felt the loneliness of the seeming absence of my spiritual helpers. Consistently, I've found that the reason for this is that I have been looking laterally (in the familiar ways), but I then needed to look upwards because they were basically beckoning to me to step up to the next level of communion. Therefore, the first possibility is that you simply need to allow yourself to be guided along rather than trying to do it all yourself.
Alternatively, there have been times when I have unconsciously found my way into higher levels and picked up toys (tools) with which I was not not ready to play. At the time I was working with a skilled psychic who guided me to relinquish these symbols of power (the analogy was a child fooling with a loaded pistol) in exchange for blessings more appropriate to my then stage of developement. Therefore, you might consider offering back that which is inappropriate for you. it's humbling, but that's not always such bad thing.
Lastly, I cannot help but wonder if your experience is somehow trying to help you understand the quality of your polarity. Your chakras may be this way or that, but your level of commitment to that beyond yourself may not be in alignment with your inner activities, conscious or unconscious. This could be a factor in your vulnerability to repeated negative presentations.
I wish you well in your travels.
~P~
The most important is this: when ending various levels of developement, I've often felt the loneliness of the seeming absence of my spiritual helpers. Consistently, I've found that the reason for this is that I have been looking laterally (in the familiar ways), but I then needed to look upwards because they were basically beckoning to me to step up to the next level of communion. Therefore, the first possibility is that you simply need to allow yourself to be guided along rather than trying to do it all yourself.
Alternatively, there have been times when I have unconsciously found my way into higher levels and picked up toys (tools) with which I was not not ready to play. At the time I was working with a skilled psychic who guided me to relinquish these symbols of power (the analogy was a child fooling with a loaded pistol) in exchange for blessings more appropriate to my then stage of developement. Therefore, you might consider offering back that which is inappropriate for you. it's humbling, but that's not always such bad thing.
Lastly, I cannot help but wonder if your experience is somehow trying to help you understand the quality of your polarity. Your chakras may be this way or that, but your level of commitment to that beyond yourself may not be in alignment with your inner activities, conscious or unconscious. This could be a factor in your vulnerability to repeated negative presentations.
I wish you well in your travels.
~P~
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