03-14-2014, 10:27 AM
Hello everyone, my name is Ryan. I am 21 years old and was born in Ct,USA. Let me just start this off by saying I have the outmost respect and love for all who's reading this. For I see you all as my brothers and sisters.
I remember being 11 years old and having dinner with my father, I would sit on his porch at night and look at the stars and I'd ask him, "hey dad, what is there? What is this"? Confused and shocked he would say "this is life son". That didn't cut it for me, I wanted more and I had this extreme desire to become awakend. To actually know who I was and what consciousness is all about. Well, unfortunately I've suffered from depression , a lot of colds as a child and had a low self esteem throughout middle school and high school. I manage to lose 40 pounds my senior year of high school which gave me more satisfaction with my physical body. Even so, I had no idea which direction I was headed after high school. I had trouble discovering myself and knowing what it is I want to do. Not even on occupational terms but in a spiritual sense as well.
It wasn't until my first year of college when I stumbled upon a man named David Wilcock and his seminar about "The Golden Age". Every bit of information I found staggering and I became obsessive about spiritually, meditation, UFOs, quantum physics and the whole shibang. I immidiatley bought David Wilcock's book "The Source Field" and read it within a couple of days. That book to me was my bible in the sense that everything that is in there is all I ever needed to know. I feel different everyday. I see the negativity on earth as I want isolation from it. I know this isn't my true home and I have always been a loving and kind person to others. I read the wanderers handbook and I assumed that the very act of me reading it would consider me a wonderer. Not only that, but I seemed to fit perfectly with the qualifications of being one, as do we all. I've never been interested in money, I've never been a money hungry person I am on the pursuit of spiritual happiness rather than just wanting money.
Last year, I had purchased the Law of One series not knowing exactly what it was about. Well, let's just say just like The Source Field, I was hooked on this as well. I finally understand what it is I need to do on planet earth. Us wonderes need to help this planet towards a loving societal complex. Latley, I've had an extreme desire to discover my past life, where I was from where my home planet was and from what density I incarnated from. I remember my first meditation which I want to share with you. One of my earliest meditations, I would focus on nothing and I would then focus on the universe being love and light and greeting the one creator as I see in myself. I would suddenly feel bliss all around me. The feeling is unbearable and as a result I would stare to be in tears. About a month ago I focused deeply on who I was in my past life and why I am the way I am today. About 30min into my mediation I started to incision a lady holding a baby. I could see red everywhere and she stared at me right in my face for a while. I could feel her starring it was at that exact time I felt a huge amount of loving energy and again I started to tear up (embarrassing as it sounds). She was beautiful and she looked at me and I know this to be true because that gut feeling that instinct tells me to be true. I now meditated 15-20 min everyday and it keeps me calm and awakened. Synchronicitys tend to happen more and more as you meditate and dreams start to become messages.
I now have flunked college twice and I am at a stage of my life where I am feeling very low. I am worried about my future in terms of where I am going to be living. I guess it's a sign me finding this forum but I feel at ease knowing that I am not alone. Again, I have the most respect and love for everyone, thanks for reading! Namaste
I remember being 11 years old and having dinner with my father, I would sit on his porch at night and look at the stars and I'd ask him, "hey dad, what is there? What is this"? Confused and shocked he would say "this is life son". That didn't cut it for me, I wanted more and I had this extreme desire to become awakend. To actually know who I was and what consciousness is all about. Well, unfortunately I've suffered from depression , a lot of colds as a child and had a low self esteem throughout middle school and high school. I manage to lose 40 pounds my senior year of high school which gave me more satisfaction with my physical body. Even so, I had no idea which direction I was headed after high school. I had trouble discovering myself and knowing what it is I want to do. Not even on occupational terms but in a spiritual sense as well.
It wasn't until my first year of college when I stumbled upon a man named David Wilcock and his seminar about "The Golden Age". Every bit of information I found staggering and I became obsessive about spiritually, meditation, UFOs, quantum physics and the whole shibang. I immidiatley bought David Wilcock's book "The Source Field" and read it within a couple of days. That book to me was my bible in the sense that everything that is in there is all I ever needed to know. I feel different everyday. I see the negativity on earth as I want isolation from it. I know this isn't my true home and I have always been a loving and kind person to others. I read the wanderers handbook and I assumed that the very act of me reading it would consider me a wonderer. Not only that, but I seemed to fit perfectly with the qualifications of being one, as do we all. I've never been interested in money, I've never been a money hungry person I am on the pursuit of spiritual happiness rather than just wanting money.
Last year, I had purchased the Law of One series not knowing exactly what it was about. Well, let's just say just like The Source Field, I was hooked on this as well. I finally understand what it is I need to do on planet earth. Us wonderes need to help this planet towards a loving societal complex. Latley, I've had an extreme desire to discover my past life, where I was from where my home planet was and from what density I incarnated from. I remember my first meditation which I want to share with you. One of my earliest meditations, I would focus on nothing and I would then focus on the universe being love and light and greeting the one creator as I see in myself. I would suddenly feel bliss all around me. The feeling is unbearable and as a result I would stare to be in tears. About a month ago I focused deeply on who I was in my past life and why I am the way I am today. About 30min into my mediation I started to incision a lady holding a baby. I could see red everywhere and she stared at me right in my face for a while. I could feel her starring it was at that exact time I felt a huge amount of loving energy and again I started to tear up (embarrassing as it sounds). She was beautiful and she looked at me and I know this to be true because that gut feeling that instinct tells me to be true. I now meditated 15-20 min everyday and it keeps me calm and awakened. Synchronicitys tend to happen more and more as you meditate and dreams start to become messages.
I now have flunked college twice and I am at a stage of my life where I am feeling very low. I am worried about my future in terms of where I am going to be living. I guess it's a sign me finding this forum but I feel at ease knowing that I am not alone. Again, I have the most respect and love for everyone, thanks for reading! Namaste
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