Ra on Ego

[Unbound]

I would be lying if I said I didn't in some way consciously control what my external expressions are, because I am aware of a huge spectrum of possible responses I could give in any moment. I am often made aware, simultaneously, of both very critical points of view as well as very accepting, lenient points of view and it is sometimes very challenging to choose what I might see as the "best" choice.

However, that being said, I can admit, mostly to myself, that I have not actually tried to be more aggressive or more critical. I have been fairly dedicated in my attempts to get away from my harshness and arrogance. It sometimes frightens me how sharp and accurate I can be with my blade of mind and honestly I feel that a lot of the time I expend considerable effort to "dull" my blade to make it more palatable.

Tanner, your posts often do suggest this struggle going on in your mind. That is why I think, you will make for a good moderator beyond this third density, once the limitations of verbal and written communication fall away. With telepathy, you can unleash all the criticism and snarky zingers that you want. Though, I think you will still be balanced and filled with love, and will hold on to your sharp zingers.

The worry about dulling the blade is always there on the path of love. The way I see it, as long as we have thorough, unabashed discussions within our own mind, the blades will stay sharp, and will be brought out, when necessary. Sucks for our higher selves that they will have to witness our internal, raving mad discussions.

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Sometimes I wonder, maybe what the world needs, and what the best service I can provide, is to express my anger, my frustration and confusion with the world. Maybe they need to hear from that part of myself which has watched and analyzed for so long but remained silent.

I think I am scared to find pleasure in power now. I am scared to embrace power because I am scared I will be consumed by desire for it again.

I absolutely support good, wise people expressing their frustrations about the situations around them. Quite often, these voices are missing from the public debate. From your posts, I highly doubt that you would express negative or too much power. But then, you know the most about your past self. I think you will do fine.

I wonder if Fang will be headed to your stage later in life (assuming that "Harvest suspense" won't interrupt that timeline). At a younger age, it is easy to express power and have the confidence in your own intelligence. I believe, he will mellow down, and infact behind his youthfulness, he already seems mellow, irrespective of his latest reputation on here. Fang and many young seekers are also from the internet age, so they are used to expressing themselves fully, online atleast. Many of them are actually quite take it easy, non-confrontational in real life from what I have experienced with my younger friends.

I have noticed how the young seeker types like Fang are quite advanced compared to their other younger peers. Maybe there is a secret, behind the scenes plan, letting them access their own wisdom earlier than previous generations. Why am I even using the young word so much in reference to others? I am kinda young myself, other than my mind, which seemed to have aged, even before I hit college.

I better stop before Geminising this thread.

ps: Before anyone gets a little itchy, the Geminising term was used with abundance of love, and in full, loving respect to Gemini's beautiful innocence.

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To be honest I haven't read that much Q'uo material. Perhaps I should.

I am surprised Gemini that you have not read Quo yet. You may actually like it, since their approach is very love based. You have been talking about feeling unconditional love. Quo offers it in abundance. A little too much sometimes from my entertainment based perspective.

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When I was younger I was still accepting of others, but I was ruthless with wisdom and I didn't understand gentleness or compassion. Power was all-important to me back then.

By the way, Tanner, i started exactly opposite to you. I was raised in economically limited circumstances (one bedroom apartment for 5 people), and in a society that did not encourage individual expression. So, I actually came to my own a little later.

For all of this that I see that I feel is true and I have known myself there still seems to be some threshold within myself that I have yet to cross in to deeper understanding. I have an inhibition towards accepting my own power that I have not yet deciphered. It all seems to make sense logically, but then there is no "click", I am not sure what I am missing.

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It also makes me think of a thread I posted where I asked what people would teach me and Fang said, "The beauty of arrogance", and this is something that has been very challenging for me. I would be lying if I said I didn't in some way consciously control what my external expressions are, because I am aware of a huge spectrum of possible responses I could give in any moment. I am often made aware, simultaneously, of both very critical points of view as well as very accepting, lenient points of view and it is sometimes very challenging to choose what I might see as the "best" choice.

To give a bit of a context for that, after I said "the beauty of arrogance" I said "and the wisdom of humility" which I personally, thought was rather profound

But really the reason I said it Tanner is because you are already humble and have great ideas to offer but sometimes lack a certain assertiveness that comes from confidence that could really get your point rather than friendly words alluding to your point across . Arrogance is a stage to grow out of but it offers lessons and skills for later stages, that's what I was hinting at.


Anyways, the ego is the focal point of consciousness in the individual, it's not a thing to be discarded. The pathological behaviour of ego, (as it is of self) include those tendencies of manipulation, control as they are related to self. However, those behaviours are not the ego itself, the "I" when refined and expanded transcends those early levels of close minded self centered behaviour that is usually associated with the word, as the "I" is now an expanded concept. If I see myself as a product of and participant in nature I'm not going to have the same behavioural tendencies as someone who thinks they are a deity's personal gift to creation for example. Each level of development offers new challenges and opportunities for "malfunction" or even regression to past states of awareness.

Good thread.

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For your points on critical thinking I agree for the most part, and you won't find many more people that are reluctant to whip out Occam's razor than me. I'm very glad to see more reflection the nature of criticism here because for a long time it was just ignored, which is to say, disrespected ironically lol. I hope we are all approaching a level ground so we can discuss things again rather than the nature of the discussion in question lol

I think Ra implies that a distortion towards ego is to suggest an over-balance towards focus on the ego part of the self which in an overactive state can lead to the need to control relationships with others to satisfy the images of the self the ego has related itself to.

I admit I am somewhat frightened of myself when I 'get serious' which is why I try to keep myself as light as possible. When I get in to a state of serious contemplation and assertiveness it is when my warrior self comes out and maybe I have to rebuild my respect for that warrior self because while I used to understand it from a point of power I am still attempting to grasp its nature on the point of love.