Trying to recognize myself

[Xenos]

Have you read A Wanderer's Handbook? It may help you answer some questions about feeling like an outsider, or at least show you a different perspective on it.

If you want so dearly to penetrate the veil and realize more deeply the illusory nature of every day life, then I suggest that you do meditate, as you've said you wish to.

As for thinking about yourself, actions like feeding regularly and giving your body plenty of rest are good for you. You don't have to hold yourself to an unnaturally high standard of selflessness, even if you were to feel that it's what "should" be done.

You could think of "[thinking] of [yourself]," since your so inclined to be selfless, like this: By working on yourself and raising your polarity towards the light, you help others. The more you work on yourself and polarize, the more help to others you are and will be.

Peace, Love, Light and Namasté

"Feeding regularly and giving my body plenty of rest.." these are the things I haven't been doing for a while... Your words gave me the chills! In fact, during meditation I became aware of the meaning of me passing out and also breaking my right hand thumb (dislodged bone, ruptured ligament) I knew it clearly meant to be careful and take care of myself, but now i realize that it has been a catalyst. I've been ignoring the pleas my body has been screaming. I've been ignoring the scar I need to heal. I should love myself in both body and mind, and your words comfort me. Thank you for your advice! It still feelds "funky" but I will continue to work on myself so that ultimately I can prepare myself for others

Love, light , peace to you all!
Namaste.