Feeling Guilt

[xise]

Guilt, lack of forgiveness, lack of acceptance, lack of understanding, they are all interrelated. Brainstorming the above concepts, especially with respect to understanding as to why another human (not yourself just yet - get some distance) would have done the things you do, can be helpful, especially since it's easier for you to love and understand others. Can you begin to understand why someone else could have done what you did? Someone who was out of their mind? How about someone who was sane and otherwise normal? Etc, etc, then go through the process of forgiveness with this hypothetical other, and then try acceptance.


Usually I find all of this results in a natural understanding that we're all children, and we take missteps - it's all a natural part of life. A big part of life is about unknowingly taking the missteps and then turning it in a beautiful learning experience.


p.s. The fact that you're meditating and reliving and remembering these experiences means that you've already started a large part of the healing and integration process. We all experience these old memories of that catalyst we thought didn't bother us but actually did and does. Remember, how you consciously feel is only a part of the equation - the unconscious mind is an important area of the mind to delve into as we address our most deepseated beliefs and fears. Don't worry GW, you're making progress brother.