What are you afraid of (spiritually)?

[AnthroHeart]

I mean this on a spiritual basis. I could say I'm afraid of doing poorly at work and losing my job, but I want something that's deeper.

I'm afraid of losing my mind. That I might act outside of myself and hurt someone. That I might end up in a place mentally that rocks my world again, like it had in the past. I'm afraid of the times when I think all the bad stuff is my fault.

In "Spirit of the Forest" they accidentally set fire to their clubhouse, and I was blaming myself for that. I thought if I went up in the densities too quickly that I would torch my creation.

I am slightly afraid of creation, that what I create might not be what I like. I am afraid of being swallowed by a black hole spiritually.

I'm afraid that after all this hard work, that I won't be good enough. That somehow I'll fail, and have to do it all again.

I'm afraid of when I think I'm in heaven, that it's not real, and can cause me to make rash decisions. Once I was about to drive and leave for Colorado. I would have lost everything. But I thought I had died and gone to heaven, so driving to Colorado was expected of me. I would have lost my dog Loki, and possibly my life. I'm not scared of death, but I'm not too big on dying. From what I hear wolfdogs are illegal in Colorado. One county over from me they are illegal as well.

I am afraid that if I wandered that maybe I wandered from a negative planet, and would have to return there after my life is done. I am afraid of my life review and the pain I'll have to feel of everyone and every animal I have hurt.

I am afraid that I don't have enough love for everyone. That my love is conditional. That I find it hard to open my heart enough. I fear that I might never again feel that wonderful unconditional love in my heart that I once felt.

But most of all I'm afraid that I might never be able to go home, being a wanderer forever. That maybe I totally gave up my previous life to wander endlessly.

Why do I wonder things like this? I don't know.