Going against higher self

[anagogy]

Is it possible to go against our higher self's wishes?

Only because its wish is for you to be happy.

When we feel bad, is it because we are out of line from our higher self?

Yes. If it would join you in your negative thoughts, you would feel just peachy when you had negative thoughts about yourself. But then there would be no development because you were blissed out on Higher Self drugs all the time. Thankfully, it doesn't do that.

Does our higher self always want what's "best" for us?

Yes.

How can it know what's best for us?

Because you know what is best for you. When you experience something you don't like, desires emanate from you. The Higher Self rides these desires to their probable conclusion outside of time and space as you know it. It then radiates the signal of it to you, the space/time analog. It lights up the trail for you, but you have to tune your thoughts to the signal it is offering.

When you tune your thoughts to the thoughts of your Higher Self (which are the vibrational culmination of all that you have expanded to based on your current experience of catalyst), you have tuned into your own personal frequency resonance vibration. That's like your own personal radio station of your soul essence. Then, the music that equals "YOU" plays on the radio of your life. The experiences that you are having are always a vibrational indicator of the thoughts you have been thinking, so when you think better thoughts, better things have to happen to you.

It doesn't answer every prayer I pray. Say I've given up on life, and wish to die. It happens more times than I care to admit. I find solace in these thoughts though. Because I'm not sure if the higher self will act. I'm not feeling like this at the moment. But the thought/desire comes up quite often.

It doesn't answer them because you are asking for things that don't really reflect who you have become. Also, it doesn't do the work for you, it just guides you vibrationally, which you vibrationally translate as emotion.

But if you find the thoughts, you have done the work, because physical experience is just thought that has evolved, due to attention, from the intangible and general, to the tangible and specific. It is the natural evolution of vibration. The inner is always eventually projected outward.

Does the higher self forbid certain magical acts? I don't feel I am violating anyone's free will. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm curious.

No. Feel free to explore your curiosity, and the powers that the conscious universe has to offer the awakening personality.

If I am my own higher self, who's to say my wishes aren't also the wishes of the higher self?

They are. The Higher Self knows absolute wellbeing. You are one of its aspects that simply grooves one of its (many) specific instances of that. It is seeking expression through you, but even if you weren't around, it would still find expression in different formats. Read the Seth books for a better understanding of this.

I think what keeps me here is not the lack of power of the higher self to do such an act, but that I love you all, and would sorely be missed. Plus my mom and dogs would miss me.

I think in your heart you know that there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing, and that the ultimate satisfaction is not in checking out of the physical into the more harmonious nonphysical, but rather, learning to deliberately tune your vibration until your mastery is such, that your physical life becomes an honestation of the creator.

Also, what about something taboo? I've heard if we're congruent with our taboo, then it's ok.

A taboo is just a line that is not crossed for some reason or another.

If you are not hurting another, or yourself, the taboo is just 3rd density distortion being unraveled. So don't worry.