Activation

[YourOtherSelf]

As I understand above, eitherYou have spaceshipand You decidednot to fly away or .... You decidednot tocommitting suicide.

That was part of the confusion for me. I didn't understand how exactly "it" was going to happen. It is very hard to explain the methods of communication, or how it feels in general during the moment. This was in the beginning and at the time it was very new and confusing/scary for me.

This was also a very emotional exchange for everyone involved in my vicinity. I happened to be at work when the above scenario was talking place. The entire thing had a very "dreamlike" feel to it as the synchronicity (I had never heard of the term then, nor did I have any point of reference to understand what was happening around me) was palpable.

Looking backwards on the situation, it seems perhaps the subconscious of people around me was being "influenced" to communicate back with part of myself? However, if I attempted to reply back consciously, the person would be very confused at what I was talking about and only seemed to notice one layer of what was exchanged. If I "pushed" the issue, there would be a very uncomfortable energy exchange between us.

As an example.

I remember asking how "they" were communicating with me (I asked this inside my own head) immediately after asking this a conversation developed between co-workers about radio controlled cars. Specifically, how if we were to each purchase one, we would need to make sure that each of us got cars operating on different frequencies, or else all the cars would be inoperable.

(If anyone has any insights on the above "metaphor" please share them. Sometimes I become wrapped up inside my own subjective experience and need another perspective to "view" from)

The above may seem like simple coincidence to most but for one engaged in such an exchange you know differently.

The overall message was I could leave if I so chose. I don't/didn't know whether it was going to be by "craft" or not. After making my mental decision to stay instead of leave, we seemed to experience a mental "life review" of sorts. I began to cry. Not vocally but tears were running down my face. I attempted to hide it from my coworkers and finally after glancing over at them I noticed they all had silent tears falling from the eyes. I said that I was sorry and very confused. Around this time we all went out separate ways for lunch and after coming back nothing about the tears or anything else was spoken of.

A few days later certain non metaphysical events led to me abandoning my job and I've never spoken to (or contacted) any of them about the events of that day.

I've have thought about suicide numerous times and I'm not proud of that fact. In all honestly the only thing that prevented me from actually going through with it back then was the effect that choice would have had on those who love me.

I really didn't expect to reply with such a long answer here. The majority of these events have not been pondered over by myself in quite some time.

Thank you for this opportunity, it feels good to talk about these things. I plan on replying to your other questions too as I'm sure they'll hit on some important areas for me.

/namasalute