Think I Found It

[Plenum]

I think I found heaven on earth. I feel great. But my therapist says I shouldn't seek out manic episodes because that can wear you out and lead to depression to compensate.

yeah, I've been on those 'up and down' cycles myself. Although probably not to extent that you have, but I am familiar with the manic-depressive cyclings as you try to find something concrete to latch your life onto.

the only true test of having 'balanced' this phase, I've found, is to observe one's state of consciousness over a two week or longer period, and to note the upward frenzied behaviour, as well as the retreating, despondent thoughts. As one becomes more 'level', these outbursts diminish in frequency, and it's more like travelling on a well-paved desert highway, rather than a bumpy, ditchy outback road.

catalyst, of course, always intervenes, but with enough self-confidence and experience, this is actually welcomed as growth opportunities, rather than a further piling-on of difficulties.