Things starting to go wrong for some unascertained reason.

[Jade]

You don't have to bear the sins of your father. His widow probably knows on some level. If you were to tell her, you might inherit some karma repercussions for bringing this information to light. If you sincerely forgive everyone involved (including yourself for your "secret"), the intense feelings might start to go away. Forgiveness absolves, not the repeated airing of dirty laundry.

My mom cheated on my dad for many years. They eventually got divorced over it. I don't feel obligated to go tell my dad specifics, or to rehash every time I was forced to lie to him at a young age. It's over. The best we can do is keep moving forward.

For what it's worth, I think in most cases, ruining someone else's peace of mind to find your own is the true service to self action, while withholding potentially hurtful information is an act of protecting the other self. Of course, it's all how we frame it individually, but to get caught up on one act whether it is STO or STS is a lot of energy, considering we can basically flip the switch on and off each moment.