mjlabadia,
No one can tell you what choice to make (or at least, no one should) but I can offer some thoughts.
I am going to make the assumption that you have been in this relationship for a while now, and have established ties with your girlfriend's sons, such that leaving the relationship would be traumatic for everyone. I am also going to assume that their pattern of behavior is not making them happy, either. Therefore it may be particularly worthwhile to explore other options first. You may be in a position to lovingly and non-critically guide them toward a healthier pattern of behavior. Family therapy or counseling, as Shemaya suggest, may be particularly helpful because you would have an impartial individual intervening, leading to less drama. You mention their disinterest in spirituality - that is ok, you can frame this in terms of happiness, which I am sure they all would like to have if they only knew how to obtain it. You can show them.
You are right that this is catalyst. However, catalyst has to be of the right difficulty to produce growth -- for the same reason that you wouldn't give an elementary school student a calculus exam. If you feel that this set of relationships prevents you from being able to find and remain in peace, lovingness and acceptance, then this may not be the right situation for you at this particular time. As I understand it, if you remain in a situation but remain agitated and unhappy, that does not serve anyone's best interests.
The flip side of that is that, if you can find love and acceptance in this situation, then you will have mastered a very, very difficult lesson and will have served as a very powerful role model for the others, simply by being there.
Again, self-sacrifice only works if it can be done with love. Otherwise it is simply suffering.
No one can tell you what choice to make (or at least, no one should) but I can offer some thoughts.
I am going to make the assumption that you have been in this relationship for a while now, and have established ties with your girlfriend's sons, such that leaving the relationship would be traumatic for everyone. I am also going to assume that their pattern of behavior is not making them happy, either. Therefore it may be particularly worthwhile to explore other options first. You may be in a position to lovingly and non-critically guide them toward a healthier pattern of behavior. Family therapy or counseling, as Shemaya suggest, may be particularly helpful because you would have an impartial individual intervening, leading to less drama. You mention their disinterest in spirituality - that is ok, you can frame this in terms of happiness, which I am sure they all would like to have if they only knew how to obtain it. You can show them.
You are right that this is catalyst. However, catalyst has to be of the right difficulty to produce growth -- for the same reason that you wouldn't give an elementary school student a calculus exam. If you feel that this set of relationships prevents you from being able to find and remain in peace, lovingness and acceptance, then this may not be the right situation for you at this particular time. As I understand it, if you remain in a situation but remain agitated and unhappy, that does not serve anyone's best interests.
The flip side of that is that, if you can find love and acceptance in this situation, then you will have mastered a very, very difficult lesson and will have served as a very powerful role model for the others, simply by being there.
Again, self-sacrifice only works if it can be done with love. Otherwise it is simply suffering.
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