12-17-2014, 01:07 AM
Oh Minyatur, how I wish I knew how to begin balancing.
Along with this "awakening" came an extreme sensitivity, a hyper-vigilance towards mindfulness. A constant second guessing of my motivations,........"Am I creating harmony?",......sometimes a difficulty making decisions,...."Is this my selfishness?",.........these kinds of thought processes.
In some ways it was easier before.
Now, I'm constantly trying to relate to others at some over intense "gut level".
Now I'm constantly striving for some deeper "soul" level connection with my girlfriend. (She must think I've lost my mind, sometimes.)
It seemed so much easier being completely blind. It seemed I was able to just plow through life.
Now, there's this little spark of light, which gives a little guidance on the path.
But it seems that after being given the gift of that little spark,...a great responsibility has come with it.
And a great up-trend in the catalyst that seems directed towards using that little spark.
As one grows spiritually, (Wanderer or not.), does it get easier? Or does the catalyst grow even more distilled,.....creating even stronger "spiritual growing pains"?
Along with this "awakening" came an extreme sensitivity, a hyper-vigilance towards mindfulness. A constant second guessing of my motivations,........"Am I creating harmony?",......sometimes a difficulty making decisions,...."Is this my selfishness?",.........these kinds of thought processes.
In some ways it was easier before.
Now, I'm constantly trying to relate to others at some over intense "gut level".
Now I'm constantly striving for some deeper "soul" level connection with my girlfriend. (She must think I've lost my mind, sometimes.)
It seemed so much easier being completely blind. It seemed I was able to just plow through life.
Now, there's this little spark of light, which gives a little guidance on the path.
But it seems that after being given the gift of that little spark,...a great responsibility has come with it.
And a great up-trend in the catalyst that seems directed towards using that little spark.
As one grows spiritually, (Wanderer or not.), does it get easier? Or does the catalyst grow even more distilled,.....creating even stronger "spiritual growing pains"?