Free Will - a paradox in the game?

[anagogy]

Okay, I'm reading the Ra material for the first time and I'm only at session 13 which mentions references of the steps of Creation and the introduction of ''freedom of will'' in step 4.
At this point in my life I have come to the conclusion that freedom of will only serves to create problems and is probably the root cause of all distortion.
In my journey, I have come to a point where I'm no longer interested in *exploring* free will and just want to find my way back HOME! This world is very painful for me to live in. I am led to believe that my purpose of being here has a lot to do with Healing.
The free will business feels like a trap used by the ones in service to self who have more use of esoteric knowledge in order enslave us.
In short, the Game being played out is already biased and unfair given the advantage of the ones in service to self have over the ignorant peoples.
I'm trying really hard to find my purpose/calling and wanting to come to and understanding of my journey. I want to be an advocate for the positive side, for the people who have been mercilessly abused and enslaved against their right of *free will*!

What is Free Will?

My understanding of free will is this: you can do anything you want to do, but what you want to do is predestined by karma.

Karma creates desire. Karma is spiritual inertia. It is a force for good in that it is the natural force in creation that brings you back to oneness, the still center point of beingness. No matter how far away you get from the light, the unity of all that is, karma will always eventually reel you back. Isn't that comforting? The return is guaranteed.

What creates karma? *Imbalance* What creates imbalance? Choices not consonant with the Law of One. The imbalances are waves in consciousness. There are big observable waves, and there are small ripples on the surface of the water. Third density is about balancing a certain threshold of wave. In the next density, you will balance smaller and more subtle waves, in the next density, even more so...

The Game is Balanced

Now, the game seems biased and unfair to you. That is completely understandable. Now, consider the possibility, that I present to you (as difficult as it may be for you to believe), that it is actually perfectly fair, and that there is a perfect balance of opportunity within the illusion.

Do you realize that your thoughts, or more accurately, your consciousness is creating your reality at all times, in all spaces, in all places? You are always gravitating to a space compatible with the vibration you are emitting. This is a universal truth. Some people call it the law of attraction.

Every piece of the creator is holographic, and contains the Whole strength of the One within it, just waiting to be tapped by the inner seeking, or will, of that focal point, or "eye" of the creator, that is currently looking through the perspective of form. It's an empowering thought is it not? These thoughts feel good to you because they resonate with who you really are.

Every soul is a powerful and infinitely wise being, and to the extent they can understand this, they can deliberately create the circumstances they desire. Understanding this divine heritage and capacity of all souls is the *key* to understanding how the game is fair.

The Two Faces of the Creator

Now, you got your involutionary forces and you got your evolutionary forces. The involutionary forces are your STS types, and your evolutionary forces are your STO types. The nature of the STS is to externalize your locus of power. They try to get you to go to sleep enough that you forget you have power. They try to get you to believe your power is outside of you. However, they can only control you, and seemingly usurp your free will to the extent that they control your thoughts. Your thoughts, attention, beliefs, and intent are your power, as the creator. So they try to get you to believe lies, and to the extent that you believe these lies, they have essentially eaten your consciousness, because they have dimmed your consciousness by distorting your awareness of Truth. Don't let them eat your light energy by accepting Falsity.

Now, the STO are not trying to put you to sleep, but instead are trying to wake you up, and give you back your power. So they share truth, which wake you up, and makes you understand your power again.

So that is the nature of the game. One side is trying to put people to sleep, and the other side is trying to wake people up.

It may seem like a lot of people are asleep right now, but I promise the scales are tipping, especially now. More people are waking up than ever! I can't wait to see what the future holds.

I don't know if any of this swayed your thinking at all, but consider it a friendly reminder of what we all inherently know, but tend to forget as our journey continues.