07-19-2010, 05:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-19-2010, 05:44 PM by Questioner.)
Phoenix, since you're familiar with the material maybe you could help me see if I miss anything important in my presentation.
Confused, thanks for the kind words.
Enigma, that's a different diagram than what I'm referring to. I'll get to the diagram but I want to discuss the points first.
Type 3
Let's start with three types of personality - or three states of consciousness available to all of us - that are very deeply interested in the love and approval of other people. I'll start with types 3, 6, and 9.
Type 3 is all about a desire to have pride of achievement at one's own hard-won personal growth.
At best, a type 3 person works hard at their own self-improvement. This person identifies what could be truly great about him or her own self. Then there is the hard work to live up to that potential. As a result, the person can be justifiably, realistically proud of how admirably they have improved themselves. They are happy, humble and inspiring.
At worst, a type 3 person is afraid that other people will reject them for not being admirable enough. However, the negative side of type 3 does not pursue the hard work of inner-directed self-development in order to become more admirable. Instead, the person tries to manipulate other people into providing admiring praise that is unearned, perhaps at the expense of other people who have to be losers so the type 3 can be seen as the winner.
Notice that if the healthy 3 lives up to their own potential, it does not actually matter whether or not other people provide external admiration. The person is able to admire themself for their own evolutionary growth.
There are different keyword terms for type 3; I like "Performer." At best, the person performs at a high level, such as Olympic athletes admired by the whole world for their astounding self-discipline. At worst, the person puts on a performance to try to get undeserved acclaim based on grandiose, narcissistic, arrogant showmanship, or rather, "showboating." Rather than the prestige of earning a role as a self-made elite, the attempt is to carry one's own pedestal around so others can look up and salute.
In unconscious childhood terms, the type 3 person as an adult could still be trying to win Mom's approval on the downside; or on the upside, feel within themselves the pride of knowing that Mom would be proud of them. A good Mom should be proud of you for genuinely doing your best. A bad Mom could perhaps be manipulated into having to grudgingly admit that the kid's OK, or at least entertaining.
I can provide an example of a type 3 person in my past who slid down the negative path. Bill had a genuine great talent at art. He had a big project that needed a team. I was one of five people on the team, who helped him do great at a famous regional arts festival. Videos taken at the time prove that the audience was thrilled and delighted at the art, and that all of the team, including me, were crucial in presenting the artwork.
Bill tried to motivate me to put in more unpaid time (for immediate glory, and money someday...) by pointing out that people would have greater admiration for my work if I put in some more work on the project. I really didn't care about that. My interest was in making the art as expressive as possible, for all the artists on the team. I felt that Bill sometimes shot down my suggestions in order to limit my contribution, and instead try to make his own part seem more glorious. But there was enough good there to be worth the hassle.
The arts fest has public and private sides. The public is allowed in during visiting hours. After hours, the artists get to stay, and the festival grounds turn into a campground that is the region's most prestigious and famous get-together in the local art world.
Unknown to anyone else in his team, Bill, like all of the artists, was given camping passes for all his team members. Rather than saying a word to the team members, Bill unilaterally decided to give away those passes to some arts managers that he wanted to impress, so that they would further his own career. Needless to say, as soon as the rest of the team found out about this, Bill no longer had a team!
I later learned that Bill was the only person to be permanently banned from the pizza restaurant next to the university, where artistic types and stoners hung out. Apparently they got his order wrong one time, and he made such a scene about being disrespected that even the mellow hippies couldn't put up with his antics any more.
In his day job, Bill was an investment advisor and he kept trying to squeeze information out of me about which high-tech startup companies were considered most prestigious. Based on my engineering job at the time, I could comment about who had technical excellence, but again, since I didn't think in terms of trying to win the crowd's acclaim, I had no information of the type he was looking for.
Perhaps it's no surprise that I haven't had any contact with him in many years. Out of curiosity, I just checked if his website is still up. It is, with a last update from a year ago. The site shows that he has a 100% turnover of line-up since I worked with him; and the years of my involvement have no mention of any names of the collaborators back then.
Examples of type 3 energy, for good or bad: Bill Clinton (NOT the Bill I worked with!), Michael Landon, Tony Robbins, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Barack Obama, many homecoming kings & queens. All people who feel their place is up on stage, where they can show the impressive results of their hard work to the admiring public; or like some of the above, show to themselves that they have risen to the occasion. I would like to find a more extensive type 3 list that goes beyond show business and politics.
In a healthy life we should all work hard to do and be our best. We also shouldn't get stuck there, especially as a way to fish for comments from the crowd as though their applause proves that Mom loves us.
I'll continue with type 6 tomorrow.
Confused, thanks for the kind words.
Enigma, that's a different diagram than what I'm referring to. I'll get to the diagram but I want to discuss the points first.
Type 3
Let's start with three types of personality - or three states of consciousness available to all of us - that are very deeply interested in the love and approval of other people. I'll start with types 3, 6, and 9.
Type 3 is all about a desire to have pride of achievement at one's own hard-won personal growth.
At best, a type 3 person works hard at their own self-improvement. This person identifies what could be truly great about him or her own self. Then there is the hard work to live up to that potential. As a result, the person can be justifiably, realistically proud of how admirably they have improved themselves. They are happy, humble and inspiring.
At worst, a type 3 person is afraid that other people will reject them for not being admirable enough. However, the negative side of type 3 does not pursue the hard work of inner-directed self-development in order to become more admirable. Instead, the person tries to manipulate other people into providing admiring praise that is unearned, perhaps at the expense of other people who have to be losers so the type 3 can be seen as the winner.
Notice that if the healthy 3 lives up to their own potential, it does not actually matter whether or not other people provide external admiration. The person is able to admire themself for their own evolutionary growth.
There are different keyword terms for type 3; I like "Performer." At best, the person performs at a high level, such as Olympic athletes admired by the whole world for their astounding self-discipline. At worst, the person puts on a performance to try to get undeserved acclaim based on grandiose, narcissistic, arrogant showmanship, or rather, "showboating." Rather than the prestige of earning a role as a self-made elite, the attempt is to carry one's own pedestal around so others can look up and salute.
In unconscious childhood terms, the type 3 person as an adult could still be trying to win Mom's approval on the downside; or on the upside, feel within themselves the pride of knowing that Mom would be proud of them. A good Mom should be proud of you for genuinely doing your best. A bad Mom could perhaps be manipulated into having to grudgingly admit that the kid's OK, or at least entertaining.
I can provide an example of a type 3 person in my past who slid down the negative path. Bill had a genuine great talent at art. He had a big project that needed a team. I was one of five people on the team, who helped him do great at a famous regional arts festival. Videos taken at the time prove that the audience was thrilled and delighted at the art, and that all of the team, including me, were crucial in presenting the artwork.
Bill tried to motivate me to put in more unpaid time (for immediate glory, and money someday...) by pointing out that people would have greater admiration for my work if I put in some more work on the project. I really didn't care about that. My interest was in making the art as expressive as possible, for all the artists on the team. I felt that Bill sometimes shot down my suggestions in order to limit my contribution, and instead try to make his own part seem more glorious. But there was enough good there to be worth the hassle.
The arts fest has public and private sides. The public is allowed in during visiting hours. After hours, the artists get to stay, and the festival grounds turn into a campground that is the region's most prestigious and famous get-together in the local art world.
Unknown to anyone else in his team, Bill, like all of the artists, was given camping passes for all his team members. Rather than saying a word to the team members, Bill unilaterally decided to give away those passes to some arts managers that he wanted to impress, so that they would further his own career. Needless to say, as soon as the rest of the team found out about this, Bill no longer had a team!
I later learned that Bill was the only person to be permanently banned from the pizza restaurant next to the university, where artistic types and stoners hung out. Apparently they got his order wrong one time, and he made such a scene about being disrespected that even the mellow hippies couldn't put up with his antics any more.
In his day job, Bill was an investment advisor and he kept trying to squeeze information out of me about which high-tech startup companies were considered most prestigious. Based on my engineering job at the time, I could comment about who had technical excellence, but again, since I didn't think in terms of trying to win the crowd's acclaim, I had no information of the type he was looking for.
Perhaps it's no surprise that I haven't had any contact with him in many years. Out of curiosity, I just checked if his website is still up. It is, with a last update from a year ago. The site shows that he has a 100% turnover of line-up since I worked with him; and the years of my involvement have no mention of any names of the collaborators back then.
Examples of type 3 energy, for good or bad: Bill Clinton (NOT the Bill I worked with!), Michael Landon, Tony Robbins, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Barack Obama, many homecoming kings & queens. All people who feel their place is up on stage, where they can show the impressive results of their hard work to the admiring public; or like some of the above, show to themselves that they have risen to the occasion. I would like to find a more extensive type 3 list that goes beyond show business and politics.
In a healthy life we should all work hard to do and be our best. We also shouldn't get stuck there, especially as a way to fish for comments from the crowd as though their applause proves that Mom loves us.
I'll continue with type 6 tomorrow.