Secret Hatreds

[Plenum]

I've wondered why you haven't been returning my calls, or emails... or why you haven't said anything about the many of-the-month-clubs I sign you up for.

So these two were never aware of the anger and hatred? You shut them out for a time, did the inner work, and resumed business as usual?

yes, pretty much. People who know me come to appreciate that I have cycles of engagement and detachment, and that it really doesn't have to do with them.

But that said, I do take on the veneer of disdain when I'm passing through a phase when I haven't fully acknowledged the emotional turmoil that is going on. As much as I might try to hide that, I think it's inescapable for the person at the other end not to notice that at least.

Again, it's all about ownership and being more deeply aware of one's feelings and emotions; my default approach (because of an asian upbringing and a capricorn stoicism) has been to deny those fluctuations; which has resulted in long term avoidance in dealing with what might otherwise be straightfoward and simple situations if confronted directly.

But I've definitely gotten better about these things. The tools of psychology and self-reflection definitely help here