Secret Hatreds

[Plenum]

Sometimes I wonder if I should reach out to the friends I've left behind and offer some kind of apology or explanation as to what was really going on, now that I can understand it. On the other hand, I have to wonder if such an act would be for my benefit, not theirs?

I've never done it thus far. Energetically, I try to offer them my apologies/forgiveness/love and hope they can move on in a productive manner. Beyond that, I'm not sure what to do.

yeah, it's not something that's easily appreciated, as you also mentioned.

I guess the true test of forgiveness/inner balance is that one is able to think of that person - or a possible interaction with that person - and only loving, affectionate thoughts come to mind.  Rather than the usual - point scoring, I'll have the perfect reply for your position, I'll show you - type thinking when we are still trying to win an argument against a nonpresent individual.  Ie, we are really just arguing with our own memories in trying to process some quality/emotion.

To speak to your specific point, though, about reaching out; it's definitely easier with mediums like facebook in place.  But my feeling is that in elaborating a reply describing what you felt, it may be like referencing a fault or criticism, and somehow shifting some of the blame onto them, even though you are willing to own up to it all on your side.