Eating Tomatoes is STS

[Monica]

That's not true.

Judgment is projected onto others that are not in synch with you or someone's moral standards.  That is not just within, though it is true that we may judge ourselves as well.

We're both right. It can be both. One can certainly pass judgment on another person, true. But it is also true that oftentimes, people feel judged when there was no judgment intended. In such cases, the judgment comes from within.

Case in point: No one feels judged by my tomatoes comment, no matter how much I say it. That's because there's nothing inherently wrong with eating tomatoes. (As I pointed out, any issues regarding harvest have to do with agricultural methods and/or politics, NOT with the actual eating of tomatoes! Tomatoes are karma-free; they are a fruit that falls from the vine.)

Whereas, people feel judged by my meat comments, because there is something inherently wrong with killing and eating animals.

You could tell me "Monica, you are wrong to eat tomatoes" and no matter how harshly you say it, I won't ever feel judged. I might feel annoyed, but not judged. I have zero guilt about eating tomatoes. (And yes, I do grow my own...or buy at the local, organic farmer's market when possible.)

Back when I still ate cheese, I did feel guilt, because I knew that cheese fed the meat industry. It wasn't because my vegan friends told me to feel guilty; they didn't even know that I still ate cheese as a comfort food.

Back when I ate meat again for 2 years, when I was sick and desperate, I didn't feel guilty, because I knew that it was to the extent necessary. (It didn't help at all, so I went back to being vegetarian and resolved my health issues later.) I felt grossed out, but not guilty.

Guilt serves a purpose. Healthy remorse is our conscience speaking to us. It's only when we continue to carry that guilt, well past the point of learning from the catalyst, that it becomes unhealthy...or when it's a result of puritanical religious prohibitions or something like that.