I have a few things to say on this subject.
First, my sister sent me all 3 of those books (Fifty Shades of Grey) as a gift. She was one of the millions who were in love with them. So I read (mostly scanned) them as a service to her. The writing was so bad I wanted to hurl the first book against the wall on the second page. I am not exaggerating. They were so horrendously sophomoric and horribly written I actually wrote my first review on Amazon to say so.
I don't watch TV so I know nothing about the movie. But I scanned or skipped over the sex scenes in the book because they were so uninteresting and badly written—especially from the point of view of a writer, which I am.
Let me preclude by saying that I don't advocate nor am I involved in BDSM. This is not to say I am inferring it is bad or wrong, or that I am judging it. I just don't resonate with it.
Now to something I think it would be efficacious to share. I have a very good friend who has been into the BDSM lifestyle for many years. She has talked to me about it and dispelled some of the myths. She also wrote a book about it which I edited. So I learned a lot about the "real thing." I only know what she has related to me, and I know her to be a person with integrity and love. In fact, her purpose in writing the book is to "create a paradigm shift in relationships."
The first thing my friend claims is that BDSM relationships are built on trust. That the level of intimacy reached can be much deeper than what is generally seen in "vanilla" relationships, and that honesty with each other is crucial. Also, they only include sex if it's what is agreed on. Apparently there are many BDSM relationships that have no sexual content. Abuse and control are not the point. There is no abuse because the participants agree to whatever they are doing and can stop the scene or activity anytime.
Furthermore, she says that BDSM is about the desire to serve. Whether you are the Dom/Domme or the sub, you are serving the partner.
This is not to say that, as in anything humans do, there are not those who abuse the guidelines or principals.
It is unfortunate that the woman who wrote those insanely popular books wrote pure junk, and that they do not reflect the underlying ideals and purposes of the BDSM culture. Nor do they add anything the literary world but dumbing down.
First, my sister sent me all 3 of those books (Fifty Shades of Grey) as a gift. She was one of the millions who were in love with them. So I read (mostly scanned) them as a service to her. The writing was so bad I wanted to hurl the first book against the wall on the second page. I am not exaggerating. They were so horrendously sophomoric and horribly written I actually wrote my first review on Amazon to say so.
I don't watch TV so I know nothing about the movie. But I scanned or skipped over the sex scenes in the book because they were so uninteresting and badly written—especially from the point of view of a writer, which I am.
Let me preclude by saying that I don't advocate nor am I involved in BDSM. This is not to say I am inferring it is bad or wrong, or that I am judging it. I just don't resonate with it.
Now to something I think it would be efficacious to share. I have a very good friend who has been into the BDSM lifestyle for many years. She has talked to me about it and dispelled some of the myths. She also wrote a book about it which I edited. So I learned a lot about the "real thing." I only know what she has related to me, and I know her to be a person with integrity and love. In fact, her purpose in writing the book is to "create a paradigm shift in relationships."
The first thing my friend claims is that BDSM relationships are built on trust. That the level of intimacy reached can be much deeper than what is generally seen in "vanilla" relationships, and that honesty with each other is crucial. Also, they only include sex if it's what is agreed on. Apparently there are many BDSM relationships that have no sexual content. Abuse and control are not the point. There is no abuse because the participants agree to whatever they are doing and can stop the scene or activity anytime.
Furthermore, she says that BDSM is about the desire to serve. Whether you are the Dom/Domme or the sub, you are serving the partner.
This is not to say that, as in anything humans do, there are not those who abuse the guidelines or principals.
It is unfortunate that the woman who wrote those insanely popular books wrote pure junk, and that they do not reflect the underlying ideals and purposes of the BDSM culture. Nor do they add anything the literary world but dumbing down.
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