The mysterious nature of time

[Steppingfeet]

Am still the same old sorrow-filled individual, dear GLB. However, am learning that there is no value in constantly dwelling on the past and on problems. This thread is one of my pressure release valves, in that respect.

Funny that one can seek, intend, apply various measures and experience real change and growth, but no matter the seeming distance traveled in time, certain ghosts travel with one. Those seeds of sorrow seem so deeply embedded within us.

I have found maturation helps gain some ground in the center, clearing out just enough space so that I can orient the vision to look upon the catalyst with the broader view of faith, though not always completely successful in that regard.

Seems your sorrow, in that respect, is doing its job: helping you develop those faculties of will and faith. This has been true of my own confusions and sorrows. May we walk into our respective valleys with rod and staff in hand.

With respect to a book, well, I guess at this stage the best book that I can write is a life well lived, for the sake of my son. I know I am mentally ill, but am determined to keep trying to live well in this world so that I can be a good father to my son. In his eyes, I see the magic of the One Infinite Creator, though that does not completely let me escape my fears and stresses. My twin focuses now are my job and my health, so that I can be of value to my dear and lovely family.

 "Escape". That's a futility that has called to me as well. I have found no permanent, lasting freedom as of yet, but there are sources of inspiration and fuel for the journey all around. I am so glad your family is disclosing the Creator to you, giving you great cause to be as the knight errant, valiant upon his journey to live a life dedicated to principles of service, dreaming the impossible dream.

With respect to your personal journey of transformation with respect to giving up one or the other of the impulses governing the deep mind, I would just like to present this extract from Ra's reply at 91.31

Observe the struggle of a caged bird to fly.

In all my attempts to reply to others in explanatory fashion, I realize thanks to your exquisitely chosen quote that a seed concept for contemplation may be far more effective than a great deal of words.

In that light, and in response to your experience of "fear and stresses", I present this closing thought to you from 94.20:

The figure is expressing the nature of experience by having its attention caught by what may be termed the left-hand catalyst. Meanwhile, the power, the magic, is available upon the right-hand path.

The nature of experience is such that the attention shall be constantly given varieties of experience. Those that are presumed to be negative, or interpreted as negative, may seem in abundance. It is a great challenge to take catalyst and devise the magical, positive experience.