03-27-2015, 11:38 AM
I understand totally.
I agree with Jim Kent that all things pass. Life isn't static and always changes. Things always shift and it will get better.
The thing I find most helpful in hopeless-feeling times is to have a plan. I agree with others here that getting out of Turkey, where your sexuality isn't accepted, would be a priority.
Could you go to college in England or the U.S.? If you think you might want to do that, you can start exploring how to make it happen.
As far as being an illustrator or web designer: you definitely CAN do these things. (I was an illustrator for many years and still do some now.) Have you ever tried designing a website? You could play with that by going to Wordpress and putting together a website for yourself with a template. It's free. You could learn code later. And as far as illustration goes, have you ever played with Photoshop, Corel Painter, Flash, or Illustrator? You can probably download free trial versions, but you'll want to get a tutorial so you have some idea what to do. Youtube has many teaching videos from people sharing what they know.
It might be helpful to make a list of possibilities. What if you lived in a country where you could be yourself? How would that change your life? What are some ways you could make that happen?
I agree with Jim Kent that all things pass. Life isn't static and always changes. Things always shift and it will get better.
The thing I find most helpful in hopeless-feeling times is to have a plan. I agree with others here that getting out of Turkey, where your sexuality isn't accepted, would be a priority.
Could you go to college in England or the U.S.? If you think you might want to do that, you can start exploring how to make it happen.
As far as being an illustrator or web designer: you definitely CAN do these things. (I was an illustrator for many years and still do some now.) Have you ever tried designing a website? You could play with that by going to Wordpress and putting together a website for yourself with a template. It's free. You could learn code later. And as far as illustration goes, have you ever played with Photoshop, Corel Painter, Flash, or Illustrator? You can probably download free trial versions, but you'll want to get a tutorial so you have some idea what to do. Youtube has many teaching videos from people sharing what they know.
It might be helpful to make a list of possibilities. What if you lived in a country where you could be yourself? How would that change your life? What are some ways you could make that happen?