Billions of Years of Evolution

[Shemaya]

I honestly have a deep welling sadness. Though I try to do good.
I am almost constantly berated for who I am.
I am called incompetent and useless. Though I try hard.

The person who says that to you is abusive GW.  Love yourself enough to say, 
"Stop hurting me ". 

I think if you could create stronger boundaries and not receive the abuse you just described, you would be able to heal the sadness.  But if the situation remains as it is, it perpetuates the sadness.