Looking at Despair

[Reaper]

I've had some pretty powerful experiences during ritual magic, in which I evoked the pure essence of various emotional aspects. In one I swam through what I can only describe as absolute, complete terror, in another a level of despair that likely would have driven me to suicide had safeguards not been in place. Probably the most powerful was when I stared down my own self-hatred, which manifested as a huge, scrutinizing eye that glared at me, unblinking, without the slightest shred of mercy. Though none of these experiences were pleasant in themselves, there was a fascinating, even giddy element to magically facing them- a displacement from the mundane perspective that makes certain emotions seem unbearable. Though I was purposefully making myself vulnerable, I also felt incredibly powerful and in control of my experience. Shifting one's viewpoint in place of the actual experience can have a profound impact on how the experience is perceived.