Into the Void

[VanAlioSaldo]

So you are being an extremely valuable mirror for me at the moment. I thank you and hope you find the will to heal yourself.

I'm extremely happy to hear explaining my experiences has been beneficial.  Last night I meditated again and focused on the void.  Long story short it was like exploring a pocket of distorted thoughtforms basically.  I met my shadow self in a pit of self-hatred that shifted into a much more jaded version of myself, and then got yelled at about what it's like to put hell onto another without any aid.  I was then directed passively, both of us together as if by design, to a place called The Gnashing of Teeth, which is an overly dramatic way of explaining a process of chewing up thoughtforms until their coherency loosens to a point of awareness being lost, essentially killing them by 'putting them to sleep'.  So, looked at what that process was like.  Reminded me of those slaughterhouse video's of pigs getting stabbed by pitchforks over and over, and they scream but nothing changes and it's all just continuing, so they clock out and jade over and fade away and the last memory is like being digested for some, getting dropped into a vat of boiling hot water.  So I got rid of that place.  And by that I mean I sent the space a lot of love and light and apology and transformed it into a plenum.  It essentially vanished instantly and the void retook the space it occupied, or perhaps, the space itself left behind an empty portion of the Sleeping Void.  I honestly don't know.

I realized my shadow self got thrown into that place earlier though, it does mess you up by basically forcing you to sleep against your will, by essentially breaking you.  So like I said I got rid of that place and need to fix things up.

Hello Vas. You opened a subject of pain. My opinion, basically is that you are feeling the effect of the recent full moon,  which means too much in your heart for this world and besides no body notices and  you also dont know where to hide your expanding heart for not to be hurt.

I would not call it void, instead picture yourself as a loner wolf with a treasured amount of feelings, which at the end is going to be a great thing, at least for your self. Feelings are showing you that you have an option, open doors or going into that not returning void.
I will not suggest you the second path.

As I said, picture yourself as a loner wolf, this will provided strenght. The wolf is a loner with a lot of passion. Think about it.

At some point you will find the way of release of those emotions, if you ask you will find answers, just be patient.

Love and light.

This is actually valuable, thank you!

Parsons, there's this show called Spec Ops Mission that details simulated war games as a 'reality tv' series -rolls eyes-, but it gave me some decent information.  The History Channel (or was it the Discovery Channel...?) used to have a Survival Man series that I can't seem to find, that depicted several urban and wilderness and otherwise survival tactics.

I love shows like that, half informational but somewhat attempt to be real.  So that movie might just be what I'm looking for as well, so thank you!!