The Vibratory Formulae

[Aion]

You mean you want to be the one in control of the contact.

In some way, the voices say "Friend, it's going to be fun don't worry" and I'm like "I decide what's fun and what's not fun!"

Sounds like you are the one who doesn't trust.

It's not that I don't trust, in my human life I've been avoiding having too many friends and now I come to face that I unawarely have many other friends.

Maybe cut to the point and ask yourself why you avoid as a habitual way of dealing with things?