Spiritual implications/reasons for gender identity crisis

[Reaper]

i'm bisexual but - & sorry if this is TMI - i feel more attracted to women when i'm, uh, near my period. also in my later years i feel more attracted to ladies.

however romantic attraction is a separate issue. that, i believe, is a soul thing. my romantic attraction to men has always been a constant unwavering thing, but physically/sexually i fluctuate with both sexes.

I can actually identify with this quite a lot. I'm at least bi-curious in the sense that I often find other women sexually attractive. I think the female body is very beautiful, and feminine energy is refreshing. I went through a period where I was sure I was gay because of a burning crush I had on a girl at my church, only to realize I still lusted after men as well.

However, when it comes down to choosing a mate, I can only go with male. I could feasibly engage in physical acts with another woman and enjoy it quite a bit, but there is something that male energy fulfills in an actual partnership that I can't do without. Even if I was with a very manly woman, something, and I'm not entirely sure what, would be missing. I'm not saying this is the appropriate way to be, only that it's how I seem to have programmed myself. 

I have a female lover that appears often in my dreams. I eventually met this person in real life. The second we met we instantly recognized each other on some deep soul level, and when she showed me pictures of her younger self I realized it was the girl from my dreams. We both felt a strong sexual attraction toward one another because we both clearly remembered being mates in a previous existence- one in which I was a man. We discussed a possible sexual relationship but ultimately we are both heterosexually programmed. This small melting of the veil really opened my eyes to how complex the sexual process can be. I find it nothing short of fascinating.