08-14-2015, 11:29 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-14-2015, 11:36 AM by Bring4th_Austin.)
Just to throw my own anecdotal testimony into what has already been shared, since my experience varies somewhat - while I have known polyamorous fail due to jealousy, I have seen some succeed. But I could say the exact same thing about monogomous relationships. Some last, some fail, sometimes it's due to jealousy, sometimes it's due to simple incompatibility or evolution of individual personalities.
Not to say that jealousy isn't probably a bigger catalyst for people within polyamorous relationships, but I essentially agree with Turtle in that so long as there is open and honest communication and a dedication to working through catalyst together, it can be a successful relationship. Which is basically the same thing required for two people in a monogamous relationship.
I do think that polyamory is much more popular (and possibly successful) with newer generations. When I discuss the topic with a person who has had successful polyamorous relationships within my age-group (let's say 25-35), they address the relationship in a mature and understanding way, highlighting the fact that it has emotions, challenges, and experiences that are different from monogamous relationships, but approaching these things with honest maturity is just as much of a factor. And this honest maturity involves a person being aware and truthful about what they are comfortable with and what they are not. Just like faithful monogamous relationships, polyamorous ones rely on a sort of agreement between individuals that their relationship will exist in a certain fashion, that everyone abstains from certain behaviors, that certain things are shared and certain things may not be shared, etc. and deviating from this agreement is a violation of the relationship.
I know plenty of people in monogamous relationships that can't communicate their needs and desires, can't understand their partners needs or desires, and are constantly deviating from implicit or explicit agreements in the relationship. One reason polyamorous relationships might seem to fail more is because you're adding a complete other entity into the mix, with their own distortions and catalyst. You're requiring yet another person to be self-aware and honest and blending three individuals is bound to be more difficult than blending two individuals.
And perhaps some of our cultural perception of monogamy vs. polyamory is because of some sort of ingrained principle. Ra indicates such in 99.10. But I think a lot more comes from cultural perpetuation of a specific relationship. For a long time, we have been told by our societies what a successful and normal romantic relationship looks like, and just like a lot of social norms, much of it is arbitrary limitations, even some of which have sexist and repressive origins.
Ra also says in 99.10 that "[t]he free will of third-density entities is far stronger than the rather mild carryover from second-density DNA encoding and it is not part of the conscious nature of many of your mind/body/spirit complexes to be monogamous due to the exercise of free will." And I think that so long as there is a will for successful non-monogamous relationships to succeed, it is possible, but has its difficulties just like everything else in life.
Not to say that jealousy isn't probably a bigger catalyst for people within polyamorous relationships, but I essentially agree with Turtle in that so long as there is open and honest communication and a dedication to working through catalyst together, it can be a successful relationship. Which is basically the same thing required for two people in a monogamous relationship.
I do think that polyamory is much more popular (and possibly successful) with newer generations. When I discuss the topic with a person who has had successful polyamorous relationships within my age-group (let's say 25-35), they address the relationship in a mature and understanding way, highlighting the fact that it has emotions, challenges, and experiences that are different from monogamous relationships, but approaching these things with honest maturity is just as much of a factor. And this honest maturity involves a person being aware and truthful about what they are comfortable with and what they are not. Just like faithful monogamous relationships, polyamorous ones rely on a sort of agreement between individuals that their relationship will exist in a certain fashion, that everyone abstains from certain behaviors, that certain things are shared and certain things may not be shared, etc. and deviating from this agreement is a violation of the relationship.
I know plenty of people in monogamous relationships that can't communicate their needs and desires, can't understand their partners needs or desires, and are constantly deviating from implicit or explicit agreements in the relationship. One reason polyamorous relationships might seem to fail more is because you're adding a complete other entity into the mix, with their own distortions and catalyst. You're requiring yet another person to be self-aware and honest and blending three individuals is bound to be more difficult than blending two individuals.
And perhaps some of our cultural perception of monogamy vs. polyamory is because of some sort of ingrained principle. Ra indicates such in 99.10. But I think a lot more comes from cultural perpetuation of a specific relationship. For a long time, we have been told by our societies what a successful and normal romantic relationship looks like, and just like a lot of social norms, much of it is arbitrary limitations, even some of which have sexist and repressive origins.
Ra also says in 99.10 that "[t]he free will of third-density entities is far stronger than the rather mild carryover from second-density DNA encoding and it is not part of the conscious nature of many of your mind/body/spirit complexes to be monogamous due to the exercise of free will." And I think that so long as there is a will for successful non-monogamous relationships to succeed, it is possible, but has its difficulties just like everything else in life.
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The only frontier that has ever existed is the self.
The only frontier that has ever existed is the self.