09-02-2010, 10:32 PM
This is something I think we all go through at some point...for me, it is an ongoing battle. At times it seems like nobody cares about anything anymore and the whole planet is just going to crap. I'm quite well-known for my periods of brooding on this subject.
The thing is, no matter how much it seems that way, EVERYONE isn't like that. In fact, people like that are in the minority. However, their cruel actions are usually potent enough to stand out more than the guy who lets you by in traffic or the person who holds the door open for you at the grocery store. If it seems like every single person around you is acting in a negative manner, maybe it's time to take stock of where you are and what you are doing. Being around a bunch of negative people all the time can bring even the most positive people down. Maybe it's time to start branching out and looking for more people who resonate with your mindset instead of wishing the people you know would change.
If you go by what Ra says, every action you see in another that hurts you reflects you in some way. If you see a lot of people acting out of hate and spite and bitterness and it hurts you, perhaps there is some unresolved pain and resentment in your heart as well. Of course, I realize I'm only partially aware of the situation you've found yourself in, and I'm only speaking from experience here. There is a woman I work with whom I absolutely can't stand because she constantly gossips and criticizes and complains about everything and never has a kind word to say. But then I realized how much like her I am- how I tend to gripe about every little thing that goes wrong and have a lack of patience when people don't understand what I want or refuse to do things my way. That was a heavy blow, seeing myself in this woman as if she was a mirror, but it inspired me to work harder on being thankful for what I have and now I'm glad I met her, even if I'm still not fond of her presence.
In the end, we've all got our flaws. We all do dumb crap- every last one of us. It is in our human nature to err, and to be provoked by our emotions. I've never met a single person who had it all under control all the time, because what would be the point of that? What would we learn if no one ever made mistakes? To love a friend is easy, but to love an enemy, not because they're nice to you but because they're a fellow soul on the same journey...that's the real mountain-mover. In general, when someone hurts me I try to think of what may be contributing to their situation...what factors are involved that I may not know about or would simply be content to ignore. Most of the peopls that act that way are nursing a great deal of pain themselves and they just don't know how to cope with it. It really helps me to put myself in the other person's shoes, even if their shoes are smelly.
Sorry if I sound preachy...it's just that I've gone through the same thing on and off for most of my life, and I know how bad those feelings can hurt, and how easy it is to give up hope. I'm not sure how much this would matter to you, but let me say that I love you with all my heart, even though I've never met you, and I send love and light your way, Sister. I'm not exactly the beacon of perfection, but what kindness I have is yours.
On a final note: one of the turning points in my life came from one sentence. I was talking to a Catholic priest one day. I automatically expected him to be judgemental and bigotous, but he wasn't. He said "You never know when holding the door open for someone will keep them from going home and killing themselves. Every action matters." Since then I've noticed so many more small opportunities to serve, and so many more acts of kindness that I otherwise would have simply ignored. At the very least, if you return hateful actions with kindness, you can act in a clear conscience and set the example for other people. People really do copy what they see. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Smiles are contagious. So don't be afraid to lead the way. Trust me, others will follow.
The thing is, no matter how much it seems that way, EVERYONE isn't like that. In fact, people like that are in the minority. However, their cruel actions are usually potent enough to stand out more than the guy who lets you by in traffic or the person who holds the door open for you at the grocery store. If it seems like every single person around you is acting in a negative manner, maybe it's time to take stock of where you are and what you are doing. Being around a bunch of negative people all the time can bring even the most positive people down. Maybe it's time to start branching out and looking for more people who resonate with your mindset instead of wishing the people you know would change.
If you go by what Ra says, every action you see in another that hurts you reflects you in some way. If you see a lot of people acting out of hate and spite and bitterness and it hurts you, perhaps there is some unresolved pain and resentment in your heart as well. Of course, I realize I'm only partially aware of the situation you've found yourself in, and I'm only speaking from experience here. There is a woman I work with whom I absolutely can't stand because she constantly gossips and criticizes and complains about everything and never has a kind word to say. But then I realized how much like her I am- how I tend to gripe about every little thing that goes wrong and have a lack of patience when people don't understand what I want or refuse to do things my way. That was a heavy blow, seeing myself in this woman as if she was a mirror, but it inspired me to work harder on being thankful for what I have and now I'm glad I met her, even if I'm still not fond of her presence.
In the end, we've all got our flaws. We all do dumb crap- every last one of us. It is in our human nature to err, and to be provoked by our emotions. I've never met a single person who had it all under control all the time, because what would be the point of that? What would we learn if no one ever made mistakes? To love a friend is easy, but to love an enemy, not because they're nice to you but because they're a fellow soul on the same journey...that's the real mountain-mover. In general, when someone hurts me I try to think of what may be contributing to their situation...what factors are involved that I may not know about or would simply be content to ignore. Most of the peopls that act that way are nursing a great deal of pain themselves and they just don't know how to cope with it. It really helps me to put myself in the other person's shoes, even if their shoes are smelly.
Sorry if I sound preachy...it's just that I've gone through the same thing on and off for most of my life, and I know how bad those feelings can hurt, and how easy it is to give up hope. I'm not sure how much this would matter to you, but let me say that I love you with all my heart, even though I've never met you, and I send love and light your way, Sister. I'm not exactly the beacon of perfection, but what kindness I have is yours.
On a final note: one of the turning points in my life came from one sentence. I was talking to a Catholic priest one day. I automatically expected him to be judgemental and bigotous, but he wasn't. He said "You never know when holding the door open for someone will keep them from going home and killing themselves. Every action matters." Since then I've noticed so many more small opportunities to serve, and so many more acts of kindness that I otherwise would have simply ignored. At the very least, if you return hateful actions with kindness, you can act in a clear conscience and set the example for other people. People really do copy what they see. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Smiles are contagious. So don't be afraid to lead the way. Trust me, others will follow.