How to balance?

[Jade]

All of your questions are fruitful places of thought. I can try my best to answer from my point of view.

Isn't trying to eliminate certain thoughts a form of judgement and a lack of acceptance? I feel that it is necessary to allow my so called negative thoughts and feelings to have their 'breathing' space and freedom of expression without rebuttal, interruption or justification.

It's more of a positive judgement thing than a negative judgement thing. Instead of saying "I don't want to experience x emotion" you say "I want to experience y emotion." You are free to experience all of the emotions that you want, as you want to, but you are giving them negative judgement by enjoying indulging in them, it seems.

Is it thoughts that are the problem or is it our reaction to those thoughts?

I think it is more our reaction to our thoughts. Each thought>reaction is a distortion of the present moment, however. The first thought is the lesser distortion, and each judgement distorts further. This would probably be a good question to meditate on (as with most of these, your subconscious will give you more cohesive answers than I can)

Are some thoughts innately harmful and distressing?

I think so. Self-defeating, self-depricating thoughts. I think anything that causes a lower chakra blockage could be categorized as "innately harmful and distressing" in the thought-realm.

I want to be as authentic and as natural as possible. Not sure if that is healthy though or if I am going about it the right way.

I think you're definitely on the right path.

This is where I am right now, trying to learn how to think in a way which promotes health and well being without avoidance/suppression. I am struggling to find where the line is crossed from beneficial thought to thought which is not so beneficial. Is there even such a line? Or is it entirely up to me where that line is or whether there is a line at all?

It is up to you. That is the first step of the balancing exercise (after learning to meditate): "The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal."

What's wrong with hating myself and other? What's wrong with having feelings and thoughts of disdain, repulsiveness and contempt?

That's up to you to decide. How do you feel when you're feeling these feelings? Do you enjoy it? Do you increase your awareness? If these feelings have value to you, then they are a gift to yourself.

I am in the process of starting regular visualization practices, like you and many others have suggested. I will try to picture myself as having clarity, self-assurance, calmness, knowledge and being in a state of balance and equanimity. I believe in these practices but I have yet to really implement them in my life thus far for whatever reason. Maybe I am unwilling to give up the drama.

We're in the last clutches of 3D. We don't have *too* much more time to play the drama game, so get it while the gettin's good. The good news is that even when working in consciousness the drama doesn't go away, it's just gradually easier to deal with.