Schizophrenia

[Aion]

Again I've been contemplating suicide and even switching polarity to survive. you may have just saved me... for now

btw about schizophrenia.. since I last posted in this thread I've become better. I refused being schizophrenic and stopped taking some of the pills dr prescribed to avoid dependency and the zombie effect.
The only external things I want to rely on is the information here in this forum and the Law of One books

I deeply appreciate your concern. I'm going to meditate on your post now.

I would like to offer you an exercise that may assist you at this point in time.

Think of the Creator in the highest, purest form of Light and Love you can imagine. Try to see and feel this around you. Don't worry about if it's real or imagined, just focus on the Creator as infinite source and its presence within and without.

If you can, try to see the power, the love of the Creator flow in to your body, spiralling upwards from the ground and downwards from the head, creating a circle from head to toe.

Then, speak to the Creator on a personal level, as though it is an old, dear friend whom you have often relied on. (If you aren't familiar with this feeling, just go with whatever feels most personal.) You may then ask:

Creator, I ask that you fill me with your light from highest to lowest. I open myself to receive this light and accept it in to my being. Please, share with me.

Let the light fill my foundation and make solid all of the structures needed to sustain my vital life.

Let the light fill my personality, that I may get to know it truthfully and genuinely without casting undue or unfair judgement.

Let the light fill the community through me, that I may harbour my interactions with others in self-understanding and compassion.

Let the light fill my heart, that I may forgive myself and by extension all others.

Let the light fill my voice so that I may speak true and clear, deceiving not myself or the other.

Let the light fill my mind so that clarity and openness can expand. Let confusion dissolve in this light as it is brought in to awareness and unraveled to order. Help me to see my worthiness.

Let the light fill my whole being, connecting me to all things and all sources of light. Let me realize my infinite, eternal nature and my true source in light and love. Be with me, that I may be with you.

Creator, within and without, I am being that I am. We are One, united and free.