The Reality of Murder Fantasies

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

An inherent lesson is available through people.  With that said:

Including those that steal $200 dollars worth of stuff right in front of you.  What messes me up is the entire time watching the thief walk away all I could think was, how I wanted to bring a rapid end to his life.  I knew I didn't want to, but the thoughts just came anyway.

Then commence the usual anxiety freak out (I stepped forward, will that be enough to fire me?  What'd I do wrong, will I need to find a new job, all of that.), then adrenaline, then anger, then more anger, then blood red anger then its like a scene out of Dexter.

You can just walk away? <Insert fantasy of fatally wounding the individual.>

Instead, in reality.  I stood there powerless to do anything.

Because of a Person.  A nobody just like me.

And it just makes me wonder.  Murder fantasies suck, they're illogical but make you feel so good because you put the control back in your hands.  Then the guilt and terror of thinking such things comes up.  You wonder if there's something wrong with you or what is going on in your head.

Hah this actually JUST HAPPENED, I figured.  I'll ask B4 while I'm seething in emotions...

Do any of you ever have something happen that angers you so much you withdraw into your mind and just go over different ways of taking revenge or taking back control?

Spiritual advice greatly desired...  I'm pretty mad at the moment but I'll calm down.  Just wish I didn't always end up feeling such anger at these things.  They happen.  Higher Self attracted the encounter, they happen.
I tried not to be mad and it happened anyway.

-Sighs-