I'm a bigot

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

@TTP
You are the "monster" whom you are talking about. There is no escape from yourself.

I know, as are all of you.

I don't get why that doesn't bother you guys honestly.  It freaks me out.  How my neighbors, customers, friends, and family are potentially going to screw me for themselves.  Its happened plentifully in my life.  I'm sick of it.  I forgive and it keeps happening, I learn, it doesn't stop.

I'm not trying to escape myself.

I'm trying to spiritually murder the god inside of me... (or make it all stop/cease?)

Somehow...lol...  You could say I'm mirroring monstrosity unto myself, not intentionally but not completely unintentionally.  I see a Monster.  I want to kill it, I often remark to myself angrily, I'm the Monster who kills monsters.  I've made mention of this on a different thread (though f me if I remember which one...)  If I could, I would be a monster hunter (the games are really fun too actually), and I'd just vigilante horrible people.

I see a monster.
I don't like monsters.
I'm ready to show them that.

I have been too, each little jerk remark from people are met with witty sarcasm and similar jabs.  I don't let Creator walk all over me, and since I hate telling people to stop being p.o.s I avoid p.o.s people's verbal navigations.  I just shrug and gloss over idiot customers now.  I give up on drunks and highs and just glaze over and wait it out.

And for worse, I honestly wish murdering people infringing upon you was legal, no one would do it unless they were really really wanting to.  What's a life in our (USA) society anyways? (Might make a thread on these thoughts and realizations I had today.)  I don't condone coldblooded murder, but this planet won't just fix itself with how broken this society and others are.  Threaten life, watch it Come Correct, that's what Creator does to our comfort.  Learn your catalytic lessons or else the distortions increase along with physical pain, mental issues, and emotional instability (cough, look at me.)  -shrug-
Or...

I don't even know, I just want horrible people to LEAVE ME ALONE so I won't feel like a horrible person for being upset over being mistreated so damn much, losing my cool wanting to go bury myself trying not to go crazy wanting to kill horrible people!  Bad people, go away!

Why can't everyone just Be Nice to each other???  You can still be nice and disagree or even argue issues.
Its bad behaviors where people start stealing, profusely lying, and not caring.

And don't tell me bad isn't real please.  It might be a dream but pinching myself doesn't work here.  Its just as much a nightmare at times, OH!

And I still feel pain, can't fly, or create worlds, or enjoy a beach, thank the water I don't need to burn away in my stomach.  Its a dream.  A very...Real...Dream.

That is also an illusion! Who would've thunk.