11-26-2015, 02:07 AM
(11-25-2015, 02:34 PM)Aion Wrote: Well, you have military experiences, maybe it's just a fear of 'defenses' being breached? What is there to fear in contact or is it just a matter of having complete control over the experiences of the self?
I used to hate physical contact and still avoid it to a degree but that's because I used to exchange energy and empathy to an acute degree through touch. I can make it more subtle now so it's not overwhelming.
No offense mate, but from what I've gather you don't seem particular fond of people in general. Maybe you just don't like intimacy? Just offering speculations, no judgement aha
1. Lack of control over my experiences do bother me
2. I have been able to have contact with people in the past but it's much much more derisive lately. It feels like my insides are boiling over in rage and disgust. It makes me want to exit my body. When I have contact with people (unexpectedly) it feels like an energy exchange occurs, but other people's energy feels disgusting and alien to me. It will drive me insane for most of the day and I usually can't sleep until 2:00 am or so on those days where-as I'd usually go to sleep at 10:00 pm
3. No offense taken. I know that I'm not fond of most people. My friends are exceptions but I am extremely suspicious of outsiders. I also dislike intimacy. In my life experience it has been used as leverage to control and abuse good-will. There are exceptions I'm sure but they're outside my experience at this time.