11-29-2015, 02:14 PM
Okay, stepping out of the hell shell horror core for a second.
Nope, normal non-hellish life was still pretty encumbering as it was. Lack of knowledge of whatever the f#@! I want to do is pretty encumbering.
Or you could just say I'm pissed off at how hard it is to do anything in my life that I really want to do.
I'd design games for a living, need a degree.
Fix computers for a decent pay at a decent company, need a degree.
Get a degree, bury myself in Federal Loan debt or pay for it myself at basically a half of to a full grand per class after text book costs are factored in.
. . .Dude, what the Hell?
I'm telling you, I can not do whatever I want, I'm not dumb enough to think there aren't consequences involved. I'm also too smart to know consequences are avoidable, don't get caught.
Except I have a theme of issues with authority in my life growing up, they give me a hard time just by my presence it'd seem since I look like a stoner when I grow out my hair and typically I grow it out. So chances are, once I start doing bad things, it's not long til it catches up to me.
So I don't do bad things anymore, I even keep it dl that I smoke in person, Rather have everyone think I'm a drunk than a stoner just to avoid the legal implications that inevitably might follow if I don't be careful. . .
I'm telling you, go do whatever you want. Do you want to have a threesome? DO IT.
Wanna build a house? DO IT.
Let's make a new lake to enjoy! DO IT.
Move a mountain! DO IT!
Except, I have resources and needs to attend to. I can't do whatever I want. Like moving a mountain, I 'can' but it'll take me 30 years worth of digging and moving rubble. with a pick and shovel. Time alone is a resource. I have so long to do whatever I want.
I mean, no rush and all, but seriously. Already 23, sick of life, people, reality.
I'm not, I repeat, profusely vehemently terrifyingly not looking forward to my god damn mid-age crises where my chances of successfully suiciding skyrocket to 50% if I'm single.
Never mind Yera's already said I might have something around my 30's happen that made me feel somewhat ominous.
When we speak of Free Will, it rarely adds up for me. I wonder if that means in my Reality I experience Free Will uniquely compared to all of you.
Nope, normal non-hellish life was still pretty encumbering as it was. Lack of knowledge of whatever the f#@! I want to do is pretty encumbering.
Or you could just say I'm pissed off at how hard it is to do anything in my life that I really want to do.
I'd design games for a living, need a degree.
Fix computers for a decent pay at a decent company, need a degree.
Get a degree, bury myself in Federal Loan debt or pay for it myself at basically a half of to a full grand per class after text book costs are factored in.
. . .Dude, what the Hell?
I'm telling you, I can not do whatever I want, I'm not dumb enough to think there aren't consequences involved. I'm also too smart to know consequences are avoidable, don't get caught.
Except I have a theme of issues with authority in my life growing up, they give me a hard time just by my presence it'd seem since I look like a stoner when I grow out my hair and typically I grow it out. So chances are, once I start doing bad things, it's not long til it catches up to me.
So I don't do bad things anymore, I even keep it dl that I smoke in person, Rather have everyone think I'm a drunk than a stoner just to avoid the legal implications that inevitably might follow if I don't be careful. . .
I'm telling you, go do whatever you want. Do you want to have a threesome? DO IT.
Wanna build a house? DO IT.
Let's make a new lake to enjoy! DO IT.
Move a mountain! DO IT!
Except, I have resources and needs to attend to. I can't do whatever I want. Like moving a mountain, I 'can' but it'll take me 30 years worth of digging and moving rubble. with a pick and shovel. Time alone is a resource. I have so long to do whatever I want.
I mean, no rush and all, but seriously. Already 23, sick of life, people, reality.
I'm not, I repeat, profusely vehemently terrifyingly not looking forward to my god damn mid-age crises where my chances of successfully suiciding skyrocket to 50% if I'm single.
Never mind Yera's already said I might have something around my 30's happen that made me feel somewhat ominous.
When we speak of Free Will, it rarely adds up for me. I wonder if that means in my Reality I experience Free Will uniquely compared to all of you.