[Shower question] Why do we have to fight the urge to do bad things?

[Aion]

Without knowing more about the specifics of what you are working on, it is difficult to say more.

Well what I'm dealing with the most are anger issues and I actually tend to feel, what I think is too much of an affinity for institutions that are all about controlling by means of fear, paranoia and hatred. I, logically, tend to agree with these institutions, but deep down inside it doesn't seem for me to be the way to go.

My intuition tells me that I'm a Wanderer, but that I'm actually an STS Wanderer. The reason I think this is because there are too many circumstances in my life that seem to be programmed to incline me towards STS and that, essentially, are designed to make me harder. I also feel extremely tempted to go down that path almost all the time. But there's another part of me (like a little voice inside) that tells me that I should start working on being STO. I mean, if I incarnated into a world that is predominantly STO (as Ra says), then maybe I should not work against the tide and go with the flow of being Service to Others.

I don't know if that gives you a better idea of my situation.

Penetrate again to the heart. What is anger? Anger is an energy, it's an energy motion (emotion). However, I might suggest that the problem isn't that the anger is there, it is that it is never moving, it has become 'stuck'.

Anger is actually the same energy that all the emotions are expressions of.

In fact, anger occurs when this energy is unable to move, I believe. Ra described it that we receive energy from two directions - from below and from above. From below we receive only energy from the planet, the Creator. From above we can receive from anywhere and anyone.

I have discovered that anger issues almost always root in the lowest parts of the self, in the bowels. That then stifles the flow of upward moving energy which then produces anger because the cells of the body are not operating in unison, this there is dissonance and energy is lost in chaos. This is anger. It is not a specific thing in itself, it is something which appears as a result of a configuration of the self. If you looked at the 'energy' of anger, you would just see a geometry.

The questioning leads us to think of how that energy meshes with the 'rest', of your energy. It has been suggested that lower emotions operate at lower frequency rates and higher is higher. I believe that it is all one flow though. Just like how an instrument (such as the body) makes many different notes yet they are all simply the vibration of the air. I think emotion is like the air but our experience of those is like music. Something we perceive in it according to our state.

There may be times you hold a vibration which at one point was locked in anger but now is not. Thus, the self is liberated by the release of vibrations. In other words, blockages almost always occur when there is a need for expression.

The question then is, what do you really want to say? I might suggest that trying to abandon your beliefs might be futile. In contrast, I, personally, would go through the effort to write out or lay out my entire belief system to myself in full honesty, no matter what form it takes.

Then I ask myself, 'is this what I WANT or is it merely a convenient way to justify my emotions?'

The task then is unearthing and freeing that energy of anger which once done will become something different. Might I suggest that the energy that becomes anger begins as passion? Passion when stifled becomes angry, but passion that is free flows in to all the realms of love and beauty and we call this art in all its forms. Maybe expressing your anger through art would help to reveal what is beneath the anger? The anger is not the truth, it is temporary. What is truly there is at the heart of yourself.