12-23-2015, 02:37 AM
Does Violet 'judge' though? What if 51% is a nice way of saying at some point in your life, Not your entire life? 51% overall during year 31 maybe. Or finally 95% in year 65?
There is no real explanation as to the way these things matter. They seem open to interpretation.
Aaron, I honestly thought you meant something else when you said its either control or acceptance.
I do both simultaneously. Under the right conditions I provide unconditional love as much as I humanly can, I'm still learning my limits otherwise I wouldn't havd worked basically 66 hour weeks at one point for my coworkers because my customers were fun to provide a 'real' 'convenienence' towards at my otherwise inconvenient convenience gas station...
I'm trying to tell you all I'm not completely unhappy because I no longer feel fear in such a way as to...stop caring so much. In fact, I ponder if I'm supposed to provide catalyst for some people. There's more than Love, Wisdom exists too and it is needed here where I am...lol
I need it too. And many people said exactly what I came upon, this hellish viewpoint and feelings are right where I'm supposed to be not cause I'm bad, but my path brought me here, all is as it should be. I've even gotten crazy synchronicities ever since I put in my 2 weeks. I stood my ground very selfishly against my manager, in a way that even made me feel a bit bad, at first. Til she showed her Dark side then I knew, I am the catalyst this time around. I have become. -puffs up chest- -pushes glasses up- The Catalyst. For myself even. My own selfish holding of my ground and my conditions made me realize how the LOO morality system became a doctrine in my mindset when I felt 'STSish' 'in a bad way'. I knew polarity was an.issue at that point. Sts and sto intermingle. I shouldn't let my manager use me, I shouldn't quietly let her abuse my asst mngr. I should say something, leverage with her our availability and workability and not just be her foot soldiers to deal with customers for her to see in the back doing paperwork, half of which on that slow slow slow computer is sitting waiting, doing nothing...
I don't feel bad anymore for being selfish, I feel appropriate. The Universe sent me signs in help. I saw 6's to determine I will fulfill my 2 weeks and not just walk out. 144 and combinations of 1, 0, and 4 on the clock told me I'm right where I should be. (4:14, 4:41, 10:04, 10:14, 11:14, 11:44, 4:04, 4:44)
I think I'm.doing exactly what I need to be doing. I hope I am. A.
B. In fury I told the Universe it had One shot to help me. To show me it isn't as I have been saying, immoral. To my...slightly horrified and very shameful but otherwise pleasant surprise.
It listened, those syncs were on par with my initiation a year ago. It tried apparently, I see that. And so I believe. That was my condition. I'll believe it when I see it.
I'm speechless. Thank you Universe for hearing me.
And also. I am so sorry
There is no real explanation as to the way these things matter. They seem open to interpretation.
Aaron, I honestly thought you meant something else when you said its either control or acceptance.
I do both simultaneously. Under the right conditions I provide unconditional love as much as I humanly can, I'm still learning my limits otherwise I wouldn't havd worked basically 66 hour weeks at one point for my coworkers because my customers were fun to provide a 'real' 'convenienence' towards at my otherwise inconvenient convenience gas station...
I'm trying to tell you all I'm not completely unhappy because I no longer feel fear in such a way as to...stop caring so much. In fact, I ponder if I'm supposed to provide catalyst for some people. There's more than Love, Wisdom exists too and it is needed here where I am...lol
I need it too. And many people said exactly what I came upon, this hellish viewpoint and feelings are right where I'm supposed to be not cause I'm bad, but my path brought me here, all is as it should be. I've even gotten crazy synchronicities ever since I put in my 2 weeks. I stood my ground very selfishly against my manager, in a way that even made me feel a bit bad, at first. Til she showed her Dark side then I knew, I am the catalyst this time around. I have become. -puffs up chest- -pushes glasses up- The Catalyst. For myself even. My own selfish holding of my ground and my conditions made me realize how the LOO morality system became a doctrine in my mindset when I felt 'STSish' 'in a bad way'. I knew polarity was an.issue at that point. Sts and sto intermingle. I shouldn't let my manager use me, I shouldn't quietly let her abuse my asst mngr. I should say something, leverage with her our availability and workability and not just be her foot soldiers to deal with customers for her to see in the back doing paperwork, half of which on that slow slow slow computer is sitting waiting, doing nothing...
I don't feel bad anymore for being selfish, I feel appropriate. The Universe sent me signs in help. I saw 6's to determine I will fulfill my 2 weeks and not just walk out. 144 and combinations of 1, 0, and 4 on the clock told me I'm right where I should be. (4:14, 4:41, 10:04, 10:14, 11:14, 11:44, 4:04, 4:44)
I think I'm.doing exactly what I need to be doing. I hope I am. A.
B. In fury I told the Universe it had One shot to help me. To show me it isn't as I have been saying, immoral. To my...slightly horrified and very shameful but otherwise pleasant surprise.
It listened, those syncs were on par with my initiation a year ago. It tried apparently, I see that. And so I believe. That was my condition. I'll believe it when I see it.
I'm speechless. Thank you Universe for hearing me.
And also. I am so sorry