01-03-2016, 08:54 AM
Hello,
This is my first posting on this forum. I wish I was here to participate in this thread years ago. None the less I would like to add a few comments as well as a little about myself. I wanted to thank everyone who posted to this thread. I throughly enjoyed reading everything, but especially what Zaxon wrote. It should be noted here that though I am mostly unpolarized at this time, though I am heavily biased towards STS. I am undecided as to which way I will eventually go, and do not enjoy being one the of many "lukewarms" and wish to get some things figured out so I know where I stand. STO has never been particulairly appealing to me. I am certainly not drawn to it, nor drawn to martyrdom. That is just not who I am. As I look back on my life up till now it seems I have been setup to fail if ever the intention in this incarnation was ever to be STO; that does not seem likely with all the challenges I have had. Someone once told me the purpose of my incarnation here at this time is to experience the extremes of both polarities. As a child I was bullied in school a lot, always an outsider, never many friends, problems with parents and teachers and pretty much everyone. This has made me into an adult that hates most people in general with a strong desire to control others and to dominate them mentally. My Aspergers does not help this, for it is harder to communicate and body language is a mystery to me as are emotions (if it were not for this I would probably be much further along, like Zaxon). I live in a mental world (I wonder if I have a connection to Orion in some way?) There is a part of me that sees the virtue in respecting others free will but we live in a world with so many stupid people I think I need to have the power to protect myself from the rest of them. I don't feel I can trust anyone, why should I? So many people have hurt me before. I am not that physically strong weighing about 150 pounds at 6 feet tall so I feel little ability to defend myself physically if necessary not to mention no skills in this area. I have no interest in physical fitness, working out, exercise, or anything physical in general. As I said before I live in a mental world, that is where I seek to find mastery, not the body. The more and more things I look at in life it seems I have endless motivations for polarizing towards STS, and yet I hesitate. I have conflict I must eventually resolve. I have felt most of my live my heart chakra is blocked, perhaps my childhood is to blame for that. Unfortunately my lower chakras are weak, so polarizing STS is not yet an option until I can resolve those issues.
It was interesting Zaxon mentiontioned that Asperger's is a dysfunctional manifestation of someone with STS orientation, because I have Asperger's, and like Zaxon am also an INTJ ( just like my favorite Sar Wars character Chancellor Palpatine). So that gives me food for thought. I am not sure I agree with it, but it's an interesting idea. I also come from an agnostic view with an interest in science. It is amazing how much I agree with Zaxon and how much we seem to have in common. I wish I could find more people like this in life. I would probably enjoy being friends with someone like Zaxon, though I will admit I don't yet have any friends. I have so many questions I have not yet found satisfactory answers to and the world seems so heavily oriented towards STO as that is what is socially acceptable, and so finding good information on STS is difficult. There is information out there; good information is harder to come by. I have tried.
I am not interested in Satanic people or people who are very attached to life on Earth; people who seem to be enjoying life a little too much on Earth are not the kind I wish to associate with. This darkness as Shin'Ar reffered to is not where I prefer to be. Being a wanderer in 3D is difficult. Most people who are ordinairly Earthbound do not understand this so well. I have little interest in life here in this dimension, and my thoughts often dwell on my home density, the wisdom density. One thing I would differ from Zaxon on is the idea of being more neutral/balanced as opposed to polarized on way or the other. But that is a personal choice I guess. Me, I would prefer to get polarized, harvest my self, and out of here. I believe I had that opportunity in 2009 but choose to stay, I felt I still needed to be here for some reason. I was free to exit via the crown chakra at that time, and somehow I just knew this. I now live in regret wishing I had left this hellish place we call Earth. People that seem to enjoy life here make me sick. I so don't belong here. I have felt love, I have felt bliss, and ecstasy but only because of my shifts in consciousness I went through years ago. It is not in my nature to have an open heart though I did open my heart once and it was beautiful, but I have not been in that "place" for quite some time. Hopefully I will be able to polarize again, otherwise I might have to repeat another cycle in the 3rd and nothing scares me more than that. I don't think we are meant to be neutral in this density, and I think Shin'Ar would agree with that much at least.
I think the general level of intelligence here is probably above average and the people here are probably somewhat adept in spirituality in general compared to the general populace. However there is always still those who will seem to have skewed ideas that are a bit "off" caused by certain beleifs and biases they may have aquired somewhere along thier life. The holy/evil paradigm is one such example as it prevails quite frequently in the LOO material and probably many of the people on this forum I would imagine. I try and see beyond that when reading the LOO, which I have done twice so far. This is probably at least one reason why the information is not 100% accurate according to the Hidden Hand material (which is how I found out about the LOO). We have so many ideas that are hard to let go of. The concept of Light and Dark is one such example. I used to think like that years ago. Hawkins explained the map of consciousness as a gradient scale from 1 to 1000. We could think of 1000 (Christ-consciousness) as being extremely intense light, blindingly bright, and 1 (bacteria) as an extreme absence of light, called by most darkness. 500 (Love) would fall halfway between these two extremes. So in illustrating levels of consciousness, the presence or absence of Light, this is a useful concept. But as I reached 600 at one point, and then came back down to the 500's I could see something that really surprised me. I could see that as one gets higher and higher into the levels of consciousness, the differentialtion between polarities breaks down. This was surprising for me to find. At higher levels of consciousness one is closer and closer to Unity and less and less there is this idea of STS or STO, light verses dark, good verses evil, etc as that all seems to break down and there is only one essence, one thing. I did not know about the LOO or any such concepts until 2013 but it has added to my understanding considerably.
Back before I had my kundalini awakening at the age of 25 in September of 2009, I did not consciously know that much yet about spiritual things. I had not read up enough yet. I had read plenty of books that touched on important concepts, such as 'Spiritual Nutrition' by Gabriel Cousins for example, but really had not found the truly profound information yet. At lot of realizations I came into only crystalized later for me after I read them in books, and could see better what was actually happening to me, for example remembering prior incarnations. An example is David R. Hawkins books which I have read all of. I felt I had a lot in common with him and his experiences and could really understand where he was coming from, but his understandings are also heavily tainted with personal opinions, beliefs, and the holy/evil paradigm.
I guess what I wanted to add mostly to this thread is the idea that one orientated towards STS may enjoy and use the same amount of Light as one of STO orientation upon polarization, which is pretty much what Ra stated. I would further add that Light should be thought of more instead like electricity and a neutral energy, which may be used for whatever purpose. Many confused Light with Love, above 6th density I guess that is a fair association. But for our purposes here, Light is but one aspect of the intelligent energy as is Love, so you see it may be used for compassionate (STO) purposes, or wise (STS) purposes. Either way, it's the same "Light", the same energy. Electricity can be used for useful work or for destruction. But that does not make it good or bad, just as the Light of God is neither good nor bad, I prefer to think of it as neutral energy. Shin'Ar seems to not really be accepting this idea that one oriented towards STS may be harvested and move through this dimensions up to 6th while still STS along the way. STS is not just here, or in the 4th, it goes on. I feel like I am stating the obvious, and yet from reading all 295 posts it does not seem to be so understood.
If anyone knows, I have often wondered [aside from thoughts/intentions] what actions might be needed to polarize STS sufficently for harvest from 3rd density? I have pondered this question many times. I hope it would not have to include killing, as I really want nothing to do with that. I wonder, could polarizing towards STS to the degree needed for harvest be done alone, without any others? Or are others the necessary catalyst that is needed in order to polarize in the first place? I can understand if this kind of question is not well received here, but if anyone has a good answer I would be interested to hear. I have switched polarities before. One day I was sitting and I just thought, I don't even like red, orange, yellow and so their respective chakras are just not "me" that is not how I see myself that is not who I am; as I interact with others I am coming from the higher chakras, not the lower ones. So, is STS really for me? Such a question caused me to depolarize considerably. I am not completely sure how violating the free-wills of other selves sits with me yet. So I have some concerns. But I love the idea of being able to control other people, and I have had some abilities with this at various times years ago. I am looking for people like Zaxon I guess to help me work these issues out.
Jeffrey
This is my first posting on this forum. I wish I was here to participate in this thread years ago. None the less I would like to add a few comments as well as a little about myself. I wanted to thank everyone who posted to this thread. I throughly enjoyed reading everything, but especially what Zaxon wrote. It should be noted here that though I am mostly unpolarized at this time, though I am heavily biased towards STS. I am undecided as to which way I will eventually go, and do not enjoy being one the of many "lukewarms" and wish to get some things figured out so I know where I stand. STO has never been particulairly appealing to me. I am certainly not drawn to it, nor drawn to martyrdom. That is just not who I am. As I look back on my life up till now it seems I have been setup to fail if ever the intention in this incarnation was ever to be STO; that does not seem likely with all the challenges I have had. Someone once told me the purpose of my incarnation here at this time is to experience the extremes of both polarities. As a child I was bullied in school a lot, always an outsider, never many friends, problems with parents and teachers and pretty much everyone. This has made me into an adult that hates most people in general with a strong desire to control others and to dominate them mentally. My Aspergers does not help this, for it is harder to communicate and body language is a mystery to me as are emotions (if it were not for this I would probably be much further along, like Zaxon). I live in a mental world (I wonder if I have a connection to Orion in some way?) There is a part of me that sees the virtue in respecting others free will but we live in a world with so many stupid people I think I need to have the power to protect myself from the rest of them. I don't feel I can trust anyone, why should I? So many people have hurt me before. I am not that physically strong weighing about 150 pounds at 6 feet tall so I feel little ability to defend myself physically if necessary not to mention no skills in this area. I have no interest in physical fitness, working out, exercise, or anything physical in general. As I said before I live in a mental world, that is where I seek to find mastery, not the body. The more and more things I look at in life it seems I have endless motivations for polarizing towards STS, and yet I hesitate. I have conflict I must eventually resolve. I have felt most of my live my heart chakra is blocked, perhaps my childhood is to blame for that. Unfortunately my lower chakras are weak, so polarizing STS is not yet an option until I can resolve those issues.
It was interesting Zaxon mentiontioned that Asperger's is a dysfunctional manifestation of someone with STS orientation, because I have Asperger's, and like Zaxon am also an INTJ ( just like my favorite Sar Wars character Chancellor Palpatine). So that gives me food for thought. I am not sure I agree with it, but it's an interesting idea. I also come from an agnostic view with an interest in science. It is amazing how much I agree with Zaxon and how much we seem to have in common. I wish I could find more people like this in life. I would probably enjoy being friends with someone like Zaxon, though I will admit I don't yet have any friends. I have so many questions I have not yet found satisfactory answers to and the world seems so heavily oriented towards STO as that is what is socially acceptable, and so finding good information on STS is difficult. There is information out there; good information is harder to come by. I have tried.
I am not interested in Satanic people or people who are very attached to life on Earth; people who seem to be enjoying life a little too much on Earth are not the kind I wish to associate with. This darkness as Shin'Ar reffered to is not where I prefer to be. Being a wanderer in 3D is difficult. Most people who are ordinairly Earthbound do not understand this so well. I have little interest in life here in this dimension, and my thoughts often dwell on my home density, the wisdom density. One thing I would differ from Zaxon on is the idea of being more neutral/balanced as opposed to polarized on way or the other. But that is a personal choice I guess. Me, I would prefer to get polarized, harvest my self, and out of here. I believe I had that opportunity in 2009 but choose to stay, I felt I still needed to be here for some reason. I was free to exit via the crown chakra at that time, and somehow I just knew this. I now live in regret wishing I had left this hellish place we call Earth. People that seem to enjoy life here make me sick. I so don't belong here. I have felt love, I have felt bliss, and ecstasy but only because of my shifts in consciousness I went through years ago. It is not in my nature to have an open heart though I did open my heart once and it was beautiful, but I have not been in that "place" for quite some time. Hopefully I will be able to polarize again, otherwise I might have to repeat another cycle in the 3rd and nothing scares me more than that. I don't think we are meant to be neutral in this density, and I think Shin'Ar would agree with that much at least.
I think the general level of intelligence here is probably above average and the people here are probably somewhat adept in spirituality in general compared to the general populace. However there is always still those who will seem to have skewed ideas that are a bit "off" caused by certain beleifs and biases they may have aquired somewhere along thier life. The holy/evil paradigm is one such example as it prevails quite frequently in the LOO material and probably many of the people on this forum I would imagine. I try and see beyond that when reading the LOO, which I have done twice so far. This is probably at least one reason why the information is not 100% accurate according to the Hidden Hand material (which is how I found out about the LOO). We have so many ideas that are hard to let go of. The concept of Light and Dark is one such example. I used to think like that years ago. Hawkins explained the map of consciousness as a gradient scale from 1 to 1000. We could think of 1000 (Christ-consciousness) as being extremely intense light, blindingly bright, and 1 (bacteria) as an extreme absence of light, called by most darkness. 500 (Love) would fall halfway between these two extremes. So in illustrating levels of consciousness, the presence or absence of Light, this is a useful concept. But as I reached 600 at one point, and then came back down to the 500's I could see something that really surprised me. I could see that as one gets higher and higher into the levels of consciousness, the differentialtion between polarities breaks down. This was surprising for me to find. At higher levels of consciousness one is closer and closer to Unity and less and less there is this idea of STS or STO, light verses dark, good verses evil, etc as that all seems to break down and there is only one essence, one thing. I did not know about the LOO or any such concepts until 2013 but it has added to my understanding considerably.
Back before I had my kundalini awakening at the age of 25 in September of 2009, I did not consciously know that much yet about spiritual things. I had not read up enough yet. I had read plenty of books that touched on important concepts, such as 'Spiritual Nutrition' by Gabriel Cousins for example, but really had not found the truly profound information yet. At lot of realizations I came into only crystalized later for me after I read them in books, and could see better what was actually happening to me, for example remembering prior incarnations. An example is David R. Hawkins books which I have read all of. I felt I had a lot in common with him and his experiences and could really understand where he was coming from, but his understandings are also heavily tainted with personal opinions, beliefs, and the holy/evil paradigm.
I guess what I wanted to add mostly to this thread is the idea that one orientated towards STS may enjoy and use the same amount of Light as one of STO orientation upon polarization, which is pretty much what Ra stated. I would further add that Light should be thought of more instead like electricity and a neutral energy, which may be used for whatever purpose. Many confused Light with Love, above 6th density I guess that is a fair association. But for our purposes here, Light is but one aspect of the intelligent energy as is Love, so you see it may be used for compassionate (STO) purposes, or wise (STS) purposes. Either way, it's the same "Light", the same energy. Electricity can be used for useful work or for destruction. But that does not make it good or bad, just as the Light of God is neither good nor bad, I prefer to think of it as neutral energy. Shin'Ar seems to not really be accepting this idea that one oriented towards STS may be harvested and move through this dimensions up to 6th while still STS along the way. STS is not just here, or in the 4th, it goes on. I feel like I am stating the obvious, and yet from reading all 295 posts it does not seem to be so understood.
If anyone knows, I have often wondered [aside from thoughts/intentions] what actions might be needed to polarize STS sufficently for harvest from 3rd density? I have pondered this question many times. I hope it would not have to include killing, as I really want nothing to do with that. I wonder, could polarizing towards STS to the degree needed for harvest be done alone, without any others? Or are others the necessary catalyst that is needed in order to polarize in the first place? I can understand if this kind of question is not well received here, but if anyone has a good answer I would be interested to hear. I have switched polarities before. One day I was sitting and I just thought, I don't even like red, orange, yellow and so their respective chakras are just not "me" that is not how I see myself that is not who I am; as I interact with others I am coming from the higher chakras, not the lower ones. So, is STS really for me? Such a question caused me to depolarize considerably. I am not completely sure how violating the free-wills of other selves sits with me yet. So I have some concerns. But I love the idea of being able to control other people, and I have had some abilities with this at various times years ago. I am looking for people like Zaxon I guess to help me work these issues out.
Jeffrey
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