(01-04-2016, 11:08 AM)anagogy Wrote: No need to apologize, friend. Depression is a tough row to hoe. As I read your post, that is what stands out more than anything.
It sounds like you had excitement for life at one point, and it gradually faded away. If you could instantly change one aspect of your life right now, what would it be? And why that particular aspect?
Thank you. Honestly I don't know what I would change. I guess I would want to have an totally decalcified pineal gland.
(01-04-2016, 12:41 PM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: I think this story is actually very, very common, cloud. Most people, when they find the Ra material, experience prolonged bliss, or "kundalini awakening" is what it's referred to sometimes. I think of it as a programmed clearing of the chakras so that our energetic systems can learn and feel what it means to be without significant blockages.
The "awakening" experience is meant to be an inspirational beacon in tough times. Any spiritually profound experience is meant to be kept in our back pocket and revisited in difficult times. The fact is, incarnation was never meant to be an overall pleasant or easy experience. We are meant to have extended excursions in confusion punctuated by moments of clarity. Ideally, if we continue to keep ourselves energetically clear as possible and evaluate our catalyst honestly, the moments of clarity become more and more frequent.
I don't think you are a failure. I think you are going through what most of us spiritually aware people go through. Choosing a polarity and following through is not an easy path - but, if you are dedicated and honest, I think it is hard to fail. Being depressed or depleted does NOT mean you aren't polarizing properly. It does mean that there is catalyst to process, however, and it's a long job ferreting out all of our subconscious beliefs that hold us back from bliss.
Even Q'uo says that if you are able to find some joy in your day-to-day experience, that you are ahead of the game as far as humans go. That's why it's really important to cultivate gratitude, appreciation, and enjoyment, even for the tough times. If you can see how in the long term, a difficult experience benefits your experience of consciousness, it's possible for the overall mood to continue to lighten.
My recommendation would be to look to the root chakra. Learn about it, explore it, experience it. It's where we receive the initial energy into our m/b/sc to distribute - depression or fear of safety (food insecurity) would point to a blockage there. And as far as the food thing goes, if you have access to a decent amount of grocery stores, a non-gmo/organic diet is totally possible to obtain - I estimate I eat at least a 95% non-gmo/organic diet, and that's on the low end. I eat a few meals a week at work and while most of their food is non-GMO/organic, occasionally it isn't. Otherwise, absolutely everything I buy is non-GMO, and most of it organic.
Thank you Jade. I feel better after reading that. I am glad I am not alone in this. It does feel like what you explained. It is just as you described I can feel things much more deeply and my regrets hurt worse than ever from it. I don't really socialize enough to have a sex life, so I wouldnt be able to do much with my root chackra, but what do I know there has to be other stuff to do with it, I will try everything.