[split] "The dark attacks from the shadow ..."

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I'm not sure what makes you think that I haven't already made my peace with darkness. The thing that you seem to have trouble grasping is that Service to Others IS Service to All/One.You seem to be the one who is stuck on the good/evil dichotomy and are projecting it upon everyone else when we talk about polarity. There is unity in polarity, it is the STO path. The STO path involves STS. However, it is not about focusing on darkness, or apathy.

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I don't want to overwhelm this post with quotes, but 19.17-19.20, and 20.9-20.11 describe this, and why polarity is necessary while incarnated in our density.

This is in regards to the Experience of the Mind:

94.20 Questioner: The magical shape is on the right edge of the card indicating to me that the spiritual significance is on the right edge of the card, indicating to me that the spiritual experience would be the right-hand path. Could Ra comment on that?

Ra: I am Ra. Yes. The figure is expressing the nature of experience by having its attention caught by what may be termed the left-hand catalyst. Meanwhile, the power, the magic, is available upon the right-hand path.

The nature of experience is such that the attention shall be constantly given varieties of experience. Those that are presumed to be negative, or interpreted as negative, may seem in abundance. It is a great challenge to take catalyst and devise the magical, positive experience. That which is magical in the negative experience is much longer coming, shall we say, in the third density.

Of course there is a lot of apparent negativity, that's obvious. One can chain themselves to the demon or they can slowly allow more and more light to enter into their field of vision to see things more illuminated and clearly.

And as far as I'm concerned, you never have to shut up. You can ramble to your hearts content. I just might ramble back sometimes.

It is my opinion, as per the first bolded and underlined, that you have just described yourself as you see in me, for I feel exactly as you do, and am trying to explain this to you all that I don't even SEE darkness anymore.  I perceive a 'dark'ness that desires to be viewed as darkness literally, in my Service to One aspect, I fulfill this and continue to do so.  Y'all technically empower them by constantly referencing them as separate of yourself, which is honestly a 4D version of STO, which in this time and place while being proper, isn't the ONLY way.

I have noted you, specifically Jade, have referenced negativity and darkness in prejudices and spiritually dogmatic sounding ways in previous posts across some threads when the STS path comes up or is brought up, I can't say this reflects anything actually about you, but it does tell me you have imbalances like the rest of us.  It just bothers me that we can call my views imbalanced, and not yours.  As they very much are and in so just telling me I'm the only one who's off here, is very much Separating me.  I don't view any of you as wrong, I am just reaching out to your understandings and trying to tell you there are still things there, as in with me, that need to be looked at and balanced.

The following underlined passage 'unity in polarity' honestly doesn't resonate properly with me, it has zing and ring to it, but Unity underlies Polarity, though it can be found in Polarity, I see that trying to view Unity through Polarity is like describing the game of Chess.  You got two sides, they're no different from one another except in minimal or minute ways, and they disagree with each other but are the same and instead of reconciling, battle it out.  It makes no sense, you enter into the realm of insanity and madness for a Human Brain for many people or maybe just Wanderers who see no point in a battle.  Let the Kings meet and combine.  Moving to a more selfish perspective, it is highly desired of STO entities to contemplate sense in madness and insanity.  There is few better ways to stop a seeker in mental processes than to try and make them make sense of insanity.  There is no sense to it, it is madness.  To say Polarity holds Unity and not vice versa, sounds mad to me and seems like a nice mind-trap.  If you were to say there was Polarity in Unity, that'd make all the difference.  It's not incorrect to say unity in polarity, but it requires, at least for me, the need to read it backwards to fully put together the actuality of that phrase.  There is unity in polarity and polarity in unity.  You could say there is no actual Unity or Polarity, or you could say there is only Unity and Polarity. Or...anywhere in between, at what point is it more 'pure'?

You need to remember Jade that the Ra Material has portions of it, possibly singular words in entire paragraphs, that are well placed differentiation's of what was intended to be said thanks to the not always so pure seeking of the contactee's questions.  I mention that "Impairment" in regards to Homosexuality sounds like one of those Singular words differentiated to damage the Material's overall message.  Of which, and I would say I mean no offense but the mad roller coaster ride I've gone through makes me not, this community did much greater amounts of damage to the Ra Material than anything else did for me.  It wasn't until I came to this place, and had my otherwise purely Ra Material only based mind distorted further with the endless madness of Polarity nonsense.

Let me restate that in a single concise and clear sentence.

I understood the Law of One and the Ra Material much more purely and concisely than I did before coming here and having Polarity become the Main Focus vs Oneness, this Community has distorted it's own Views and now you're all literally telling me I am wrong in my views.

If you can't see that.  If you don't understand that, then I'll explain it personally.

Polarity does not resonate with me.  As per the request of the same entities who gave you so much convoluted opinions of that Polarity, I must now drop it and deem it not for me.  Polarity is an illusion.  STO is not Service to All because it determines itself different from STS entities.  It is a hidden quiet hypocritical energy that permeates and I'm not allowing you, if you'll forgive that, to push it into me.  I have admitted to my hypocrisy, I have SHOWCASED it even.

I find that it is not that negativity is easier to focus on, I find it is designed to attract the attention of those unaware to draw forth awareness.  It is a service to all as well.

I expect no one will help me on these areas because it is not in any of your best separated interests to do so on either end, being of STS or STO, to hear anyone say your orientation is illusive would be highly insulting.  I see STO people say: "We are Service to All", but then they differentiate and even work against STS, so I hear appended and unknowingly to yourselves, "except STS because we are STO".  I just entered Sparta I think, cause this is some serious Madness.

If you aren't here yet it's okay.  I'm not trying to yank anyone, I'm prodding.  Prodding and nudging and poking because I am alone and have been, I have no one to talk on the same level with about the Ra Material because the moment I came here the Ra Material was turned into POLARITY rather than what it actually is.

As for the very last bolded passage, I will point out the inherent hypocrisy here.  If you are Service to All, when a STS entity comes in and starts harassing you for you're working against it, should you not respect those wishes, offer the love for its harassment has given you awareness, and perform them if not just temporarily?  What would that 5D entity have done if the group actually STOPPED the workings for a time, allowed Carla to recover, and started them up again?  To simply provide love and adherence to the negative in such a way as to fulfill their desire in a way that allows you to still fulfill your own would be more than enough to halt it's constant advances since you wouldn't be energetically or metaphysically warring with them for your own desires vs their own.

In a couple of weeks or months, continue the contact again.  And keep it going for years.  Vs, martyring yourselves in the name of STO.  Sounds imbalanced, and this place shares that imbalance.

I'm just pointing it out and everyone gets defensive, uses the mirror reference in defense.  That my friend, truly is not reflection, but deflection.

If you believe everything I say is me mirroring my own darkness outwards, what does it say about you all who think that about me whereas I don't about you all until you start saying I am?

Sigh.  I wish telepathy was heeerreee xD

Now then for my second to last remark:

My point was that change in consciousness is the work where one chooses to see the positive interpretation of events instead of the negative. It's transmutation of the 'negative' into the 'positive', in an effort to affect change that will better the experience for All.

There is a point to making the choice, by the way. Because of the veil, we have to make the choice in faith - we don't know for sure. This creates a drive. This drive is called the will. One must invoke the will in the direction it desires - whether it is to serve the all, or to serve the self with exclusion of others, and this creates a charge of energy. The difference in the spectrum of service to all --------- service to self is polarity; it, along with the balance of energy centers, affects the violet ray output. It creates a difference in potential that allows one to do work (affect change by experience in the physical environment).

The underlined I want to personally point out, is the exact same understanding I arrived at as to how to perform alchemy energetically.

May I however point out that is does not provide a better experience for All, only Positive entities who desire such to occur, you have absolutely completely nullified the existence of STS entities.  This is dogmatic spiritually, those entities exist in their own orientation, yet you say you serve them, when you actually work against their desires.  That is literally akin to the same energy religion and authority use to belittle a specific group, I say this again.  Read your own words.  I got from them, Positive Alchemy of negative energy is for the better experience of All.  You ignored the negative beings though.  You're now literally using them for their power, rather than loving them for how they are and considering them.  You are STS in this action 'hiddenly'.

If you could perform that alchemy without disregarding the energy beautifully offered by the negative beings to be alchemized, you'd probably see that you're still just STO, not All as you perpetuate but then do not demonstrate, but then defend by perpetuating that STO is STA when it is not.

You're otherwise correct regards the bold, though I think it's interesting to note that you once more try to use STA in reference as STO, when again, this is not the case, but still the quote is correct.  You're using STA as STO is not, that is a perfect example of a singular differentiation that damages the information provided in this Material.  Thank you for demonstrating it so easily as being something small and otherwise insignificant, but changes the entirety of the context attached all around it.  Imagine the damage a 5D entity could do with these small differentiation's hidden away in the Material so finely even Ra did not catch them despite 'saying' them.  It allows for this exact perspective to occur, demonizing negativity quietly which of itself empowers negativity.

And speaking of Demonizing, my final remarks:

You speak of chaining one's self to demons or allowing light to enter...Why is that demon, not light???

What if I choose both, what I don't choose STO or STS, but both?  I am not differentiating STA from STO or STS beyond when you start differentiating them yourselves, I'll do so to in hopes you see how my own logic then falls apart when I come to this point deeming STA is not different of STO but STO isn't STA.

Demons I understood before I even found the Law of One, are not all evil, there are loving demons, there are hateful demons.  They are no different from us, to chain yourself to one is no different than chaining yourself to another human being.  If you can't handle a demon, you will not be able to handle a human.  I see horror in myself in that I have that in me because it is around me in this place (on Earth if you'll zoom in with me from the Universal perspective).  Or maybe it's better to say, I see Suffering in myself in that I have that in me because it is around me in this place.

Is that suffering bad?  Hell no, I thank my suffrage, without it, I'd be nothing like I am to this day.

Can I hate the suffering and pain that is designed into this creation by myself/god/OIC/Universe?  CHYES I CAAN
Can I love that hate and suffering designed in for the purpose it was created for?  CHYEAAAHHH

I can be both.  I've the divine mis/fortune of this Truth about myself.  I'm not good or evil.  I'm nothing and everything.

And if I could, I'd love everything equally, in this place, that while possible, just simply isn't wise.
Hence, I don't.

So when I speak of anything, please realize I have already tried to apply it opposite against with myself to try and speak from a place of middle ground upon anything.  I falter and fail, I am a self pro-claimed hypocrite and a self pro-claimed monster and an honest person and I love way too much so much so that I suffer a lot often.  It took that suffering to be happy and content, albeit sad and discontent, to see both ends, to know, by experience.  To get a clue.

Maybe this is just my path, maybe I'm walking a third road, there's a few here in the past who's negativity shone into the forums illuminating it's own hypocrisies only to be met with distaste for the forum asserts itself a certain way then fails to adhere as such.  I was one of them.  You are STO people?

Show me.  Accept and Love me, respect my opinions and offer your own self-judgment upon me, and not judge my worth.  I don't know anyone of you, but I'd put myself before danger to ensure no harm came to any of you, and all of you, even the people I disliked or did not like, I'll even drop names if I must.  I love you all, I love everything.  I truly do, even if it is shared with those 'negative' emotions like hatred and shame.  I want everything to go great for everyone.  I want to give those entities who greet what they desire, and in time return to my desires for giving them what they desire is in itself my desire too, I'm not going against myself by stopping my seeking when the greetings get rough to take a break and recuperate mentally/emotionally and physically.  And in my giving them what they want, slowing my progress or halting it, I'm still fulfilling myself.

I see no horror for realsies, just illusions.  I see no hatred for realsies, just illusions.  I sit on my bed and realize I am one with it and I can feel the hum of energy between us, 3D 'inanimate' and 'animate' as One.

I think...  I'm either going to turn schizophrenic from all of this, or begin a second initiation phase lesser in intensity but similar to my initial awakening that'll be my true calling...  I don't know but I am truly happy when I describe these things...  I am, at my happiest actually talking to you all about these things even as we clash energies.  If I could devote my life to the study of Metaphysics (Spirituality, Energy, Geometry, Physics, Vibration, and Frequency) I would.  That I put myself in a place where that isn't immediately accessible tells me I must reach and pull/push myself into that placement in a way that is acceptable, balanced, and healthy.

It's considered a Hard world for a reason, if I were to reference Earth as a Video Game Level, it's difficulty would be closer to Very Hard.  The beauty in it though is that this difficulty doesn't feel like a literal video game's designed level where you're expected to fail over and over then succeed once.  It's closer to you're expected to stumble, but failing is very hard just as well.  It's a planet with a dark side to it that needs to realize collectively it's not darkness, in order to begin it's healing.  This is already well underway, I doubt in those who say it'll all happen this year, but I do believe this year will mark the end/start of 3D ending/entering into 4D and be the beginning/end of 4D starting from 3D.  In the literal sense of we'll begin the transference of technology to incite these occurrences as one possible way, or the collective of humanity will begin to connect the dots and fully awaken from it's half-awakened state.  I don't know how it all goes but the time for choosing STO and STS is in my opinion ending, now it's time to start enacting them.

This is my way of ennactment, some call it being in the pit of indifference.  I do not feel this 'pit', I feel similar to when I was doing work in consciousness.  I feel like I'm polarizing in one way or another if not both.

I hope this is helpful, I'm sorry for being so obtuse and rude about it but sometimes bluntness is needed.  You can say I'm free to ramble, but don't be afraid to tell me to tone it down if I'm coming off completely out of line!!