01-21-2016, 04:18 PM
-was seriously expecting a different response-
Thank you for not reaming me for that post everyone. I was pretty scared hitting that post button...
Min, I'm sorry to say this, but you are correct about me in some respects. But now please see how you've used this Material to judge me.
I do blame, its a habit I think I share with my Mom, Thank you for pointing it out to me as I have been aware only partially mostly from denial of this.
I think my words hold less love in place of trying to be wisely said and not my usual banter. I have no say or clue as to how well I performed such, but if its worth any mention, the Egregore on this forum is very disorienting mentally for me. If I'm not careful I end up.betraying myself from not being more conscious of how this entity interacts.
Despite this I feel a reaching out for aid and I have not wanted to take that call because I've been dealing with my own.stuff...
Min...I don't blame the Ra Material for my Hell, I however do hold it responsible for giving me the keys to those doors. However, now that I'm no longer in that Frame of Mind... I am...I feel...That its worth saying, Hell and suffering dulls with continued existence away from such. I truly was as you kind of implied, torturing, murdering, and raping myself in my own version of Hell.
I hold many in thanks for my surviving hell. Suicide was constantly on my mind while there, and the infinite reasons my mind conjured up for it were... Hard to suppress, had I not y'all to always throw me with glee your thoughts and kindnesses and even judgments, I'd probably have just given up. Don't underestimate your power to help another, anyone reading this.
E_s, I need to rig up my old desktop to handle TF2 on any of my computers, otherwise I'd probably already be on a first name basis with you >->
Oh, wrong subject lol
I'm doing exactly well, not too up not too low. Quit smoking weed, got a new roommate who I've been helping since she needed help and a place to live, so my life got busy. Plus I'm off overnight shifts. I came back to the daytime, my mind couldn't handle the isolation.
....I've been childish, with people pointing out my flaws. I ask you not to censor yourself for me, sincere honesty is always welcome. As the saying goes, Thank you for being straight with me about things. You are all always available to point out my imbalances, just remember if you see such imbalances to also check your self for such.
I got to a highly unusual place on my balance and I saw it in every corner of this forum and realized I was partly tuned into the egregore here. Its a lovely being but very confused in a lack of care made to direct its massive...massive...just...endless wells of Care. No one is to blame, its an effort I think a few can direct without need to bother others on their mannerisms here.
I've contributed much confusing pain into it. I want to smooth those out, and would like to stay and be allowed to further reach out to those areas on this forum that are otherwise...stagnating as if unkempt energetically.
I'm no magician, just an idiot playing with rough light (Fire). I got burned and am back for more. I actually give nyself to those 'dark' entities who 'greet' me in thought, to murder in thought. Sacrificing the self in love is a powerful way to aid those dark ones as well as the light. The entire energetic exchange is...one that benefits all while maintaining a ratio dominance towards STO, or perhaps its nneutrality, and I could just be a being who Grounds Out Polarity.
I don't know but the imbalances in this place are highly unusual. The deepest of which are the odd double standards of Love. Its not something I'm comfortable calling STS energies or darkness. It boggles me because it is a similar sensation as I feel via Ra. A lack of Polarity with Polarity. I...My blood sugar is too low to properly formulate this explanation but I'll try...
It feels as if one were to Lovingly Be, in a manner similar to what I'm doing, but being aware as such of the odd needs for Polarity, uptakes Polarity from a place where none is needed, and uses it to aid towards the destination. The result is...Truly something our Language lacks words of, is essentially Balance.
But this feels imbalanced. An Imbalanced Balance. An Im/balance of Polarity.
I'd simply say Jade mentioned exactly why this is, there is much Faith in what this Material says. I will not dare tell anyone to drop that faith. I just ask that we remember to utilize a teaching Ra gave.
See the Creator in All things. Every 'instance' and 'instant' of 'space' and 'time' are infinite, and contains all things.
Some are here to balance over-Light imbalances, as in to say, to discover Faith can go too far in belief. Many are here to remember and awaken to not just their brightness, but their dark depths to become aware to begin the work of self healing to implement and ultimately heal Earth. To be too bright is to burn those 'dark' ones. They very much set the stage, built it perhaps even. We owe them (See: Cabal, Orion, Illuminati) Thanks, maybe withhold love for them and give appreciation and understanding instead. Unless you're of the Warrior occupation or Light Worker who battles Darklight with Brightlight, I'd say the most loving act is in consideration to both sides of the spectrum, you/I and them, us.
Simply by being naturally ourselves with the aid of those behind the scenes will be enough. We don't need to destroy them, we have Prisons for such...
I know Ra says its ironic to try and love and aid a dark evil murderous being. It probably is in the light of love/light as it implies allowance of literal Death. But there are shades of dark from light gray to darker than black. What is evil? Would it not have been more appropriate to direct such a desire of the group into harmony towards their desire?
But anyways, you'll see such odd instances of Ra shying away from their own advice in spots and places.
Aaand I have to go pick up the roommate from work.
I think I pierced my frontal lobe, not the veil Aion
Thank you for not reaming me for that post everyone. I was pretty scared hitting that post button...
Min, I'm sorry to say this, but you are correct about me in some respects. But now please see how you've used this Material to judge me.
I do blame, its a habit I think I share with my Mom, Thank you for pointing it out to me as I have been aware only partially mostly from denial of this.
I think my words hold less love in place of trying to be wisely said and not my usual banter. I have no say or clue as to how well I performed such, but if its worth any mention, the Egregore on this forum is very disorienting mentally for me. If I'm not careful I end up.betraying myself from not being more conscious of how this entity interacts.
Despite this I feel a reaching out for aid and I have not wanted to take that call because I've been dealing with my own.stuff...
Min...I don't blame the Ra Material for my Hell, I however do hold it responsible for giving me the keys to those doors. However, now that I'm no longer in that Frame of Mind... I am...I feel...That its worth saying, Hell and suffering dulls with continued existence away from such. I truly was as you kind of implied, torturing, murdering, and raping myself in my own version of Hell.
I hold many in thanks for my surviving hell. Suicide was constantly on my mind while there, and the infinite reasons my mind conjured up for it were... Hard to suppress, had I not y'all to always throw me with glee your thoughts and kindnesses and even judgments, I'd probably have just given up. Don't underestimate your power to help another, anyone reading this.
E_s, I need to rig up my old desktop to handle TF2 on any of my computers, otherwise I'd probably already be on a first name basis with you >->
Oh, wrong subject lol
I'm doing exactly well, not too up not too low. Quit smoking weed, got a new roommate who I've been helping since she needed help and a place to live, so my life got busy. Plus I'm off overnight shifts. I came back to the daytime, my mind couldn't handle the isolation.
....I've been childish, with people pointing out my flaws. I ask you not to censor yourself for me, sincere honesty is always welcome. As the saying goes, Thank you for being straight with me about things. You are all always available to point out my imbalances, just remember if you see such imbalances to also check your self for such.
I got to a highly unusual place on my balance and I saw it in every corner of this forum and realized I was partly tuned into the egregore here. Its a lovely being but very confused in a lack of care made to direct its massive...massive...just...endless wells of Care. No one is to blame, its an effort I think a few can direct without need to bother others on their mannerisms here.
I've contributed much confusing pain into it. I want to smooth those out, and would like to stay and be allowed to further reach out to those areas on this forum that are otherwise...stagnating as if unkempt energetically.
I'm no magician, just an idiot playing with rough light (Fire). I got burned and am back for more. I actually give nyself to those 'dark' entities who 'greet' me in thought, to murder in thought. Sacrificing the self in love is a powerful way to aid those dark ones as well as the light. The entire energetic exchange is...one that benefits all while maintaining a ratio dominance towards STO, or perhaps its nneutrality, and I could just be a being who Grounds Out Polarity.
I don't know but the imbalances in this place are highly unusual. The deepest of which are the odd double standards of Love. Its not something I'm comfortable calling STS energies or darkness. It boggles me because it is a similar sensation as I feel via Ra. A lack of Polarity with Polarity. I...My blood sugar is too low to properly formulate this explanation but I'll try...
It feels as if one were to Lovingly Be, in a manner similar to what I'm doing, but being aware as such of the odd needs for Polarity, uptakes Polarity from a place where none is needed, and uses it to aid towards the destination. The result is...Truly something our Language lacks words of, is essentially Balance.
But this feels imbalanced. An Imbalanced Balance. An Im/balance of Polarity.
I'd simply say Jade mentioned exactly why this is, there is much Faith in what this Material says. I will not dare tell anyone to drop that faith. I just ask that we remember to utilize a teaching Ra gave.
See the Creator in All things. Every 'instance' and 'instant' of 'space' and 'time' are infinite, and contains all things.
Some are here to balance over-Light imbalances, as in to say, to discover Faith can go too far in belief. Many are here to remember and awaken to not just their brightness, but their dark depths to become aware to begin the work of self healing to implement and ultimately heal Earth. To be too bright is to burn those 'dark' ones. They very much set the stage, built it perhaps even. We owe them (See: Cabal, Orion, Illuminati) Thanks, maybe withhold love for them and give appreciation and understanding instead. Unless you're of the Warrior occupation or Light Worker who battles Darklight with Brightlight, I'd say the most loving act is in consideration to both sides of the spectrum, you/I and them, us.
Simply by being naturally ourselves with the aid of those behind the scenes will be enough. We don't need to destroy them, we have Prisons for such...
I know Ra says its ironic to try and love and aid a dark evil murderous being. It probably is in the light of love/light as it implies allowance of literal Death. But there are shades of dark from light gray to darker than black. What is evil? Would it not have been more appropriate to direct such a desire of the group into harmony towards their desire?
But anyways, you'll see such odd instances of Ra shying away from their own advice in spots and places.
Aaand I have to go pick up the roommate from work.
I think I pierced my frontal lobe, not the veil Aion