01-30-2016, 05:18 PM
Jade, while I agree majorly with you...I must tell you its not a fair external judgment to say I didn't go beyond Green Ray in activation back then. I did crystallize my indigo ray, but by the time I did I did enter into the martyr complex which being unable to get back to where I was (an activated kundalini indigo ray is a very, very nice place to be) the natural human judgments began.
I was very crystallized in blue ray, and my Green Ray's nested Pink Ray had been so opened, I could see incoming catalyst long before it confronted me, I was skirting The Razors Edge of Time, picking and choosing my path, which time line to go down you could say, rather than just fumbling forward. When that stopped soon after, the powerlessness feeling to come was not pretty.
I have thought often, that I should try again, try again, try to polarize again, try to raise kundalini again. Try, try.
But I hurt and am tired. I don't want to do it alone...And so...I'm not, not until I have a friend I can meditate weekly with...I can talk with about all of these things. Do yoga with and just attempt to be polarized with.
This truly is not lone wolf work in 3D, even if you're a loner like I...The effects that follow can shake even your own foundation, and at those times without some support or someone to lean on, there's a chance of a falling down collapse. Crashing into the self. Sucks. Does not feel good.
I am technically of STO but for the sake of avoiding the hellish reality (in my view) that Ra posits, I am of my own Angle, Tune, my own Variation. Where catalyst is not suffering, it is becoming aware. Where pain beyond a point is not catalyst but cruelty devoid of lessons or wisdom. And where fairness and harmony is the natural state of Life On Earth, and Humanity makes it unfair and unnatural, collective imbalances already known and attempted to be offered a different way to be.
I Think everything will be okay, even if I don't graduate, I wouldn't mind another life...Maybe I'll make it not so lonely that/this time.
Parsons, in my personal experience you're right. Indigo brings in a very fine intuitive wisdom that is needed for higher work. Without it, extremes due occur.
By god I look back and still scare myself. If I had violent tendencies I would've been a true danger to others...I thank my soul for formulating me as a gentle giant...
I couldn't bear to actually do the many horrible things my mind conjures up... I often now a days wish I could stop the violent thoughts, but instead I accept them, and just let them play out then sigh and move on.
Hopefully, they'll dissipate, like a mental puberty coming then leaving.
Min, I'm sorry, I have no idea what to say to you. Thank you regardless.
Aion, its weird because where there was once emptiness in my chest, there's a weight now. And I'd describe it as burning... Good use of words.....thank you, I'll take that to heart. As well as what you've said Jade, and Parsons. Things to truly consider about.
I was very crystallized in blue ray, and my Green Ray's nested Pink Ray had been so opened, I could see incoming catalyst long before it confronted me, I was skirting The Razors Edge of Time, picking and choosing my path, which time line to go down you could say, rather than just fumbling forward. When that stopped soon after, the powerlessness feeling to come was not pretty.
I have thought often, that I should try again, try again, try to polarize again, try to raise kundalini again. Try, try.
But I hurt and am tired. I don't want to do it alone...And so...I'm not, not until I have a friend I can meditate weekly with...I can talk with about all of these things. Do yoga with and just attempt to be polarized with.
This truly is not lone wolf work in 3D, even if you're a loner like I...The effects that follow can shake even your own foundation, and at those times without some support or someone to lean on, there's a chance of a falling down collapse. Crashing into the self. Sucks. Does not feel good.
I am technically of STO but for the sake of avoiding the hellish reality (in my view) that Ra posits, I am of my own Angle, Tune, my own Variation. Where catalyst is not suffering, it is becoming aware. Where pain beyond a point is not catalyst but cruelty devoid of lessons or wisdom. And where fairness and harmony is the natural state of Life On Earth, and Humanity makes it unfair and unnatural, collective imbalances already known and attempted to be offered a different way to be.
I Think everything will be okay, even if I don't graduate, I wouldn't mind another life...Maybe I'll make it not so lonely that/this time.
Parsons, in my personal experience you're right. Indigo brings in a very fine intuitive wisdom that is needed for higher work. Without it, extremes due occur.
By god I look back and still scare myself. If I had violent tendencies I would've been a true danger to others...I thank my soul for formulating me as a gentle giant...
I couldn't bear to actually do the many horrible things my mind conjures up... I often now a days wish I could stop the violent thoughts, but instead I accept them, and just let them play out then sigh and move on.
Hopefully, they'll dissipate, like a mental puberty coming then leaving.
Min, I'm sorry, I have no idea what to say to you. Thank you regardless.
Aion, its weird because where there was once emptiness in my chest, there's a weight now. And I'd describe it as burning... Good use of words.....thank you, I'll take that to heart. As well as what you've said Jade, and Parsons. Things to truly consider about.