02-03-2016, 12:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-03-2016, 02:35 PM by Bring4th_Austin.)
Last night, in one of my dreams, I became a woman. I'm not sure exactly what the catalyst for this transformation was, but it seemed natural and logical within the dream state. I was on my way to accomplish something in a crowded area and just knew that I was now a woman. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I was a completely different person, not even a woman who looks like the male version of myself. I really liked the way I looked, the way I felt in the woman's body. There was a bit of relief too, like there was something about this that has been hiding inside of me and is now free.
A bit later, I was hanging out with some guy friends - no one I know in real life. The fact that I was a woman seemed to not be abnormal in this situation, as if it was just the way it always was. I remember throughout the experience lots of small things that were different to me because I was now a woman. The way they talked about women, the customs that differ between the genders, the different way I was treated because I was a woman.
None of it was overtly sexist or mean, just sort of tacit expression of these odd expectations and ideas that seemed to apply to women. At each point, I wanted to say something. I wanted to stop everyone and ask, "Why? Why is it like that? Why do you think that? Don't you realize how imbalanced this seems?" But each time, I thought of how they'd react if I did. I'd be annoying, I'd be whiny, they wouldn't want to hang out with me if I constantly brought up how these things bugged me. And they didn't mean harm, it's just cultural baggage. So I kept my mouth shut and tried my best to not let it bug me. At some point, I woke up.
It definitely made me think for a while after I woke up. I have no clue how realistic this is compared to any woman's experience. As a man, I recognize that our culture places unfair expectations on both genders, and that this type of cultural baggage can be difficult to deal with for everyone. But there was something about being a woman in my dream that made me feel like I had less power to shirk those things and to speak out against them, especially when among a group of all men. My voice would be automatically dismissed, I would be labeled, and I would be creating an uphill battle for myself.
Still trying to process this one!
A bit later, I was hanging out with some guy friends - no one I know in real life. The fact that I was a woman seemed to not be abnormal in this situation, as if it was just the way it always was. I remember throughout the experience lots of small things that were different to me because I was now a woman. The way they talked about women, the customs that differ between the genders, the different way I was treated because I was a woman.
None of it was overtly sexist or mean, just sort of tacit expression of these odd expectations and ideas that seemed to apply to women. At each point, I wanted to say something. I wanted to stop everyone and ask, "Why? Why is it like that? Why do you think that? Don't you realize how imbalanced this seems?" But each time, I thought of how they'd react if I did. I'd be annoying, I'd be whiny, they wouldn't want to hang out with me if I constantly brought up how these things bugged me. And they didn't mean harm, it's just cultural baggage. So I kept my mouth shut and tried my best to not let it bug me. At some point, I woke up.
It definitely made me think for a while after I woke up. I have no clue how realistic this is compared to any woman's experience. As a man, I recognize that our culture places unfair expectations on both genders, and that this type of cultural baggage can be difficult to deal with for everyone. But there was something about being a woman in my dream that made me feel like I had less power to shirk those things and to speak out against them, especially when among a group of all men. My voice would be automatically dismissed, I would be labeled, and I would be creating an uphill battle for myself.
Still trying to process this one!
_____________________________
The only frontier that has ever existed is the self.
The only frontier that has ever existed is the self.
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