Third chakra blockage - help needed

[BlatzAdict]

My solar plexus is blocked solid; it has always been.  This is an issue stretching back lifetimes.  At this point, however, I've done a good job of clearing out the other chakras.  I frequently feel a warm loving glow in the heart and throat area, and the top two are often active as well, but this thing is like a steel and concrete plug (in fact, that's how I saw it once in meditation).  When I ask intuitively what it is, the answer comes back, "pain, suffering; many, many occasions of being hurt across lifetimes" (accompanied with a visual of layers upon layers of suffering combining on top of each other).  Also, fear, of course.  Recently in meditation I saw bright multicolored light streaming upwards into me through the central channel, but hitting as if a wall at the third chakra and scattering sideways (horizontally) in all directions.

Aside from the "physical" discomfort, this is affecting my life in many undesirable ways.  I generally see others as sources of difficulty and prefer to avoid them, except for a few rock-solid close relationships characterized by a great deal of love.  (To be clear, my work involves dealing with individuals and I do very well in that; the fear/avoidance of others is more of an underlying tendency and mental/emotional attitude that I've identified, an assumption that nothing good will come of trying to reach out to others - or that I will somehow screw it up).  As a side effect of the above, I have not allowed myself to work towards writing and publishing the things I need to (and planned to do, pre-incarnatively), due to overwhelming, previously unconscious but now identified fear of being ridiculed, rejected and abandoned.  Because of this, I frequently feel that God, my guides, etc. are disappointed in me, and feel bad about it; every time I ask, I'm told unequivocally that it is purely my projection of my own feelings, and I "could never be a disappointment", and I accept that as fact - yet emotionally it continues to feel true; ultimately I'm disappointed in myself, but can't move forward in these projects due to blockage-caused fear.

So I think what I need to do (and finally getting to the point of this lengthy post, for which I apologize) is to figure out what it's like to function with an UNblocked third chakra.  How does someone with yellow ray clarity relate to themselves and others?  What are the essential points?  This is really my central question.

And then "fake it till I make it".  I guess.  This is a beast, and everything I've done before seems so much easier in comparison, so I'm reaching out to my spiritual family for any help and guidance you might provide.  Love you guys and gals.  

i spent years on this one.. so i will say learning to love the self is not selfish. learning to love the self makes you know more intimately what you need, and by knowing what you need you can more easily relate to others who inevitably have the same needs too. Also, what one may desire or what another may desire, may not necessarily ever be the same, yet we are by design all needing of the same basic emotional things and needs companionship or ultimately compassion, love, recognition ultimately forgiveness, encouragement.

learning to love myself has taught me to learn better healthy boundaries between myself and others, of course it wasn't easy. and honestly i learned more about this doing a customer service job talking to other people and helping them. i think i've gotten pretty good at having healthy boundaries, took me a while and i still didn't really get it until i started to learn to listen to others, and find that there is a sort of identity behind everyone and what they are doing. i used to feel the same with a heavy lead placeholder in my solar plexus and lately it's been just opening and opening slowly but surely with each lesson i learn.

It took me a couple of years to start understanding this lesson and I'm still not even all the way through it. The more I understand it, the more i feel my yellow chakra ease up and not be so pokey.