Third chakra blockage - help needed

[IAM Identity=AmariPaul]

My solar plexus is blocked solid; it has always been.  This is an issue stretching back lifetimes.  At this point, however, I've done a good job of clearing out the other chakras.  I frequently feel a warm loving glow in the heart and throat area, and the top two are often active as well, but this thing is like a steel and concrete plug (in fact, that's how I saw it once in meditation).  When I ask intuitively what it is, the answer comes back, "pain, suffering; many, many occasions of being hurt across lifetimes" (accompanied with a visual of layers upon layers of suffering combining on top of each other).  Also, fear, of course.  Recently in meditation I saw bright multicolored light streaming upwards into me through the central channel, but hitting as if a wall at the third chakra and scattering sideways (horizontally) in all directions.

Aside from the "physical" discomfort, this is affecting my life in many undesirable ways.  I generally see others as sources of difficulty and prefer to avoid them, except for a few rock-solid close relationships characterized by a great deal of love.  (To be clear, my work involves dealing with individuals and I do very well in that; the fear/avoidance of others is more of an underlying tendency and mental/emotional attitude that I've identified, an assumption that nothing good will come of trying to reach out to others - or that I will somehow screw it up).  As a side effect of the above, I have not allowed myself to work towards writing and publishing the things I need to (and planned to do, pre-incarnatively), due to overwhelming, previously unconscious but now identified fear of being ridiculed, rejected and abandoned.  Because of this, I frequently feel that God, my guides, etc. are disappointed in me, and feel bad about it; every time I ask, I'm told unequivocally that it is purely my projection of my own feelings, and I "could never be a disappointment", and I accept that as fact - yet emotionally it continues to feel true; ultimately I'm disappointed in myself, but can't move forward in these projects due to blockage-caused fear.

So I think what I need to do (and finally getting to the point of this lengthy post, for which I apologize) is to figure out what it's like to function with an UNblocked third chakra.  How does someone with yellow ray clarity relate to themselves and others?  What are the essential points?  This is really my central question.

And then "fake it till I make it".  I guess.  This is a beast, and everything I've done before seems so much easier in comparison, so I'm reaching out to my spiritual family for any help and guidance you might provide.  Love you guys and gals.  

You should probly listen to episode 1 and 23 of in the now podcast. I ask for you to respond whenever you feel is comfortable after you listen to the podcast. I would love to see what you got out of it. Thank you sooo much