Harvesting Negative

[Night Owl]

A part of me is ever accepting everything that is me. That part is ever content. That part is really flowing with all is well. That part is always positive and sees the big picture. That part thrives on wisdom, travel, challenges, complex systems philosophy and freedom. That is the Sagitarian in me.

An other part of me doesn't like the idea of being loved. I don't react really well to expressions of love towards myself. I even come to find people who love themselves in a very apparaent way unpleasant to interact with. Our differences in terms of self love is probably creating a lot of distortions. My birth chart has 7x capricorn including my moon, ascendant and venus. So I'm not really emotional and I feel better around unemotional people. But I was raised by a pisces mother and I'm really empathic because of that. I think my higher self has infinite compassion and I probably have incarnated many times in negative densities just to understand them. But it seems this time I have incarnated with an opposite programmation where I am not emotional to try and understand those who are.

I think she had the exact same problem about self expressions of love. It's ironic. A perfect mirror. The only difference is she was like a 'me' with a completely open heart. I don't like the idea that I have hurt something that sensitive. How do sensitive people deal with being hurt?

Would you forgive me to have hurt the sweetest, most loving and amazing part of the creator that has ever existed because my heart is closed and frozen like a 5 billion years old iceberg in the north pole?