Making Money

[TsaktuO]

Thanks for the discussion, everyone.

I am a waitress. In my job, I am constantly receiving micro-transactions directly for my services (ie tips). The wage my employer pays me is basically moot, everything I earn is based on my pleasantness and eagerness to serve strangers. Of course, this is in an ideal world, and still every day I get stings where someone's tip doesn't reflect the job I believe I did. Most of the time this is very easy to shrug off because on the flip side sometimes people leave me very generous tips that I certainly didn't earn ($25 tip for opening a bottle of wine for 6 people vs. $3 tip to deal with a very needy couple for 3 hours). I try to remember it's all very fluid, money is merely energy - expecting it to come from where it "should" come from and not opening oneself up to just "receive" is a big lesson, I think. I just try to use what I know about the Law of Attraction... give without worry, spend without worry, and open oneself up to receive abundance in whichever way the universe desires to repay you.

My parents are both ends of the spectrum, but my father was more in control of our upbringing than my mother for the most part. My mother is very que sera, easy come easy go, and in fact has more often than not used nefarious means to acquire money. My father has worked for the same structured company for most of his life and makes a decent living, to the expense of almost all else. He's almost a caricature of a typical middle-aged man in our society - works himself into seclusion, twice divorced, spends money like crazy, obsessed with appearances (hair plugs, veneers, Camaro...). He's rejected my husband and I because I've been the sole money earner in our house for several years now - something that is incomprehensible to my father. No matter that my husband was physically disabled.... he was a failure because he couldn't buy me things.

It's just been a recent thing for me to not recoil at the thought of money. The truth is, I'm just used to doing without. Growing up in a home where money was such a focus, even as a small child I learned to not ask for much, if anything. I've almost exclusively had the profession I have now, so I've just spend what I've earned, if I needed more, pick up a shift, if I have enough for a while, give some shifts away. We have very little debt. We owe a couple thousand dollars to my grandma, and we have a very fraudulent $3,500 debt from an old apartment complex over our heads, but that is literally never getting paid. We've gone hungry. We've been without somewhere to live. Most modern luxuries are foreign to us - we share one old-style cell phone. We share one car. I know this lifestyle isn't for everyone but it works for us!

Of course, the dream is that my husband with be successful in his career as an author, and then we can spend our riches buying and protecting land and whatever various other charitable causes that call to us. It would be awesome if that was our life path! If it isn't, I can totally accept and understand that, as well. Right now, we're being called to move (my dad is kicking us out of this house we rent, which is my grandma's) and we really want to move to Colorado - and as it turns out, my in-laws want us there so bad they're willing to throw down whatever money they can to help us, as they have an abundance. I've been tight-roping this one for a while now - how much help do I feel comfortable accepting? Can't I just work harder and save up money? But that doesn't work because saving money is something I've never, ever successfully done. And the more I work the more money I feel like I need to spend to comfort or "reward" myself... the viscous cycle.

Another kicker is, if I didn't feel like I had to save up for this move, I would have been transitioning from almost full-time employment at my current job to working more on my Etsy shop - which if I had the time to dedicate to, I think would be very successful. So this is also a goal. As it is I'm really pretty tired of the job I have now and want to move on... I suppose sometimes the solutions are more obvious than we let on, they just take adjustments. :-/

These are my current thoughts, thanks for letting me share and thanks to everyone else for sharing their relationship with money.

<3 ur reads

-side note-
We as people jst should strive for being producers rather than consumers. ex: growing ur own food stuff, saving rain water.. looking at that piece of wire.. and thinking hmm, can i use that for something other than throwing it is the trash? keeping the paper tea tag for filters on my spliffs.. puff puff pass

now look, u just saved money.. same as making money, no?
ezpz right?